klena: (stocking and curls)
[livejournal.com profile] mystagic did a thing where you explain the stories behind 5 of your icons. So I volunteered and here I am, spilling my guts!

Also, I am waiting for the colour in my hair to develop, so killing time only works in my favour at the minute.

First one!

Keywordsmcgonagall only speaks truth, there is something wrong with you, you are demented.

This one is one of my newest icons, resparked by my love of [livejournal.com profile] shoebox_project. I was reminded of it a few months ago and went hunting it all down after the community was hacked and all the entries deleted. Sad times :(

It also makes me sad that the .pdf files available to download don't have the handwritten notes included in it. It loses a bit of the charm without them, honestly - is that just me? I am spoiled fan.

ANYWAYS. For those not in the know about Shoebox Project, it was a hilarious Marauders era multi-media fic establishing a lot about the Marauders. And Sirius/Remus as a pairing. It was fantastic and funny and full of tension as the War approached. Anyways, early in it, while it's set at Hogwarts, McGonagall is obviously long-suffering with James Potter and his band of miscreants.

The actual quote comes from a conversation between Sirius and McGonagall as they discuss career options. It pretty much sums up their relationship, and is hilarious. I chose it as it has that fondness and acceptance of the fact that most of the people I encounter on LJ are demented. And utterly brilliant for it. The keywords kinda explain themselves I think. Next!


Keywords:BAMFs, dream a little bigger darling, your mind is the scene of the crime

Arthur and Eames! Inception! My feelings are long and vaired and filled with ~INTENSE FEELINGS~ which I shall spare you all. Needless to say it was perhaps my favourite movie of last year, if not one of my favourites from the last decade or so I've properly been enjoying movies.

There is so much I love about this icon. It's from that fantastic scene where Eames just shows the audience (and Arthur) how much of a Bad Ass Mother Fucker he is, and calls him "darling". It seems like "dream a little bigger, darlng" has become perhaps THE phrase from the movie, especially for fangirls. Which is fantastic, considering the "darling" wasn't even in the script.

Arthur and Eames massively appeal to me as a fanfic reader, a writer and a fan of characters. Arthur presents this cool, collected facade who is charge and resolutely Deals With (Cobb's) Shit. He dresses in the most amazing sharp, business-like fashion but is a motherfucking expert with explosives. He never tends to be sentimental about people except for when he remarks that Mal was "lovely." He revises the plan when he misses the kick like it was an inconsequential thought. He has followed Cobb for years. Arthur is a lesson in badassery.

Eames is a hilarious pseudo-lush who dresses awfully but has a hidden quick wit and a knack for human psychology and interpersonal relationships. Once you consider that Eames' entire job in the dreamscape revolves around being other people, forging identities, his character becomes a lot more interesting and intriguing (not that he wasn't before.) For someone to solidly and convincingly forge an identity, he needs to be believable, and clever, and astute to each person's individual ticks and mannerisms. So the facade he presents in the movie is a carefully orchestrated one to take people off-guard as he filches your wallet (or your heart). And you didn't even notice, did you?

So, I have a lot of feelings about these characters! As I do about Mal and Ariadne and Cobb and Saito and Yusef. But basically, it is my badass icon. NEXT.


Keywords:gabe needs to work on his magic act, inherently ridiculous

This hilarious fool is Gabe Saporta, from Cobra Starship. They are a band who wants to make you dance. The idea for the band came after from Mr. Saporta there: "Citing a personal mythology involving being out in the desert high on peyote and having a conversation with a prophetic cobra."

Gabe is still one of those favourites from my very eager bandom days and this icon just makes me laugh a lot when I actually look at it. Look at him! What is he doing?! He's a guy that confuses me a lot. He sings creepy songs about being in his basement! But he's hilarious and does not take himself seriously. But he's also stupidly hot, especially in a suit.

I have no clue what this photo is from or what the context is, but it is hilarious. It looks like he is trying to make a toothbrush levitate. I don't even know. If I am using this, I am taking the piss (out of myself normally) or I am being silly. There really is not a lot of thoughts behind this icon. NEXT


Keywords: a virgin losing a child, before it all becomes the same old song, surely Heaven waits for you, used to be the right one.

Amanda Fucking Palmer! She used to be tied with Rose Tyler as the Woman Most In My Icons. True fact. Now Billie Piper (as Rose and as Belle du Jour) is the clear winner there. She is married to Neil Gaiman, don't you know? She has a lot of ~feelings~ about things, some of them not right! She is the lead singer of The Dresden Dolls and released an amazing album called "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" which I listened to a whole fucking lot during my final year and since. [brief break there to wash the dye out of my hair, I have no clue how the red has turned out, sigh]

ANYWAYS. Amanda Palmer. And all my lyrical keywords! "A virgin losing a child" comes from "Wolves At Night" by Manchestra Orchestra, "Before it all becomes the same old song" comes from "The (Shipped) Gold Standard" by Fall Out Boy, "Surely Heaven waits for you" is from "Carry On My Wayward Song" by Kansas and "Used to be the right one" is from "The Perfect Fit" by Amanda Palmer.

Basically, this icon is my contemplative/doubting/wistful icon. All the lyrics were chosen to vaguely correspond with what could be making her glance down and away. Except for "Surely Heaven waits for you", the rest of the icons are supposed to be sort of first-person whilst the Kansas lyrics is obviously second-person. The way her head is tilted and the position of her lips always seemed to be like Amanda was sighing or biting her lip, so I wanted to use th. EMOTIONAL ICONS! NEXT

FINALLY


Keywords: storm in the form of a girl, the motion makes me strong

My current profile pic! After the glasses/books one for something like two years, I finally changed it. This gorgeous specimen of womanhood is Lyndsey Ballato/Way or Lyn-Z being as fucking awesome as she is. She is one of my girl crushes that just won't quit. Her attitude! Her tattoos! Her bendy spine! Her pigtails! Her style! She's an artist and a bass player! Yeah, no, she's an awesome lady so I had to have her as one of my icons. I've got a few other icons of her, but I think this is probably my favourite one. Good thing too, it being my profile icon! Ha ha ha.

There's something just really...transient and powerful about this icon. She's obviously in motion, playing the bass but her gaze isn't focused on playing or the crowd, she seems to be gazing beyond that. Her pose is just really strong and unshakeable. Also, love the contrast of the orange stage and her black/white outfit. Plus the little glances of her tattoos. Ugh ♥ Lyn-Z.

The keywords, I'm actually surprised I don't have more of them! "Storm in the form of a girl" came from a keyword or an icon that I think [livejournal.com profile] musesfool had, maybe a Buffy one? Upon doing some searching, it is apparently from Hole's "Heaven Tonight" or Nick Cave's "Ain't Gonna Rain Anymore". Whatever, it's a great line. "The motion makes me strong" comes from Emmy The Great's song "Canopies And Grapes" (apparently not the real title, huh) which I have quoted many times in my icons. Generally in Rose Tyler ones. The verse it's taken from is:
Take some time out to resuscitate my soul,
Take up smoking and drink orange juice and grow.
Teach the mattress to expel you from it's folds
Dry my eyes and keep on walking,
'Til the motion makes me strong,
'Til one day I realise I don't remember that you're gone.


How can I not love that so much and want it used in many keywords? And the piece I used was to emphasise that moving on, movement keeps you going, keeps you strong. I need to remember that sometimes, I think.

So that is my icon masterclass! I hope you enjoy the rambles :) Bed? Bed.
klena: (boy/boy melodrama)
(This entry is largely powered by my desire to finally master embedding links into journal entries.)

I've not long finished reading a fantastic story by [livejournal.com profile] mimblexwimble called "Ten Thousand Miles" and, as I mentioned on Twitter, it's amazing. It's heartbreaking and about the reality of when someone just...vanishes. And, if you choose to read it, it will break your heart. I sobbed. Big tears running down my face, sniffling, head feeling like a vice with the restraining of aforementioned big tears. But it's worth it. I wouldn't rec it otherwise.

The synopsis: This isn’t a story with a deeper meaning. There is no moral at the end. On December 28th, 2007, Sam Winchester walked out of the motel room he was sharing with his brother and never came back. This is the story of what happened after.

I have been in a ridiculous "Supernatural" mood the past few days. I've always loved the show, but after watching "Changing Channels" and "The Real Ghostbusters" , my mind has been completely located there. And I've never been so focused on the race/gender fail of the show as some other people I know have been. I mean, yes, it is there (especially with Agent Henriksen) but when I watch my show, I watch the show. I might have thinky-thoughts after, but I'm not critiquing it as I watch. That's just the way I roll.

In conclusion (without spoilers), parodies of T.V shows, angels and Chuck make me a very happy girl. As does the acting of the show (I'm thinking of "Changing Channels" here)

Also! In a further attempt to give something back to my ridiculously awesome f-list, here is some Florence + The Machine. It makes me want to be at a bonfire under a midsummer midnight sky, singing and barefoot and feeling as wide and as small as the universe. Cosmic Love


I failed at finishing Nietzsche today. But I did get my hair done. And text-talk to Dave. And freak out about life before getting cuddles from mum. I feel I should probably sleep now

[edit] BUT NOT BEFORE A TRIUMPHANT FIST-PUMP, AWWWWWYEAH WORKING LINKS! \o\ \o/ /o/ \o/ \o\ \o/ /o/ \o/  \o\ \o/ /o/
klena: (surely Heaven waits for you)
I feel like a bad person for it but I am dying to download "The Fame Monster". Oh Lady Gaga, why must you make such catchy tunes that earworm me and then be so amazingly dedicated to being so fucking wierd? Such a girlcrush on that lady.

I am in the wastelands of Nireland once more! I'm worried because this trip will be the longest I've been home since summer and then I was working two jobs so the summer went stupidly quick (as far as I can remember, I think I've blocked most the trauma out. \o/? )

Part of me also feels a little bad that I didn't find it as hard to say goodbye to Dave as I did at Christmas or during the summer. Is that wrong? Maybe it's a good sign? I don't know. Emotionally fail, right here.

Luckily my grand plans for being here do not consist of very much more than catching up on my reading from uni ('sup Shakespeare and Milton and Nietzsche) and writing up notes and maybe, just maybe, starting on my two 4000 word essays for Milton and Stories of the Eye.

Side note: Bataille's "Stories of the Eye" was strange and slightly disappointing and horrifying. It's stuck with me.

Part of me also wants to get my creative ass into gear and:
- finalise the Doldrums design
- write some more Lucasta
- get involved in new ZQL postings
- start work proper on Leeds Animesoc Zombie Manga
Whether this happens remains to be seen.

16 days at home. Today is day 2 and my little brother's birthday. He's 22. I'll be 24 in December. This amazes me in multiple different ways. Mama Denvir will be returning to Leeds with me on the 14th. And meeting Dave.

My Creative Vision W Zen player that came travelling with me still does not work but I swore I was going to be able to fix it because I had firmware software to repair it with. Except the computer doesn't even recognise it. Sadface is sad :(((((

I am now going to go and create a list of Things Wot To Ackomplish.
klena: (storm in the form of a girl)
New icon post primarily. Lyn-Z is one of my girl-idols.

Strange interim place currently. Dave and I aren't talking or even texting because I'm pissed at him for letting me down after exams finished and he...well, I can only speculate as to why he hasn't been in contact. He's forgotten about me (in the way that things slip his mind regularly), he's focused on work, he hasn't thought about me. Speculation but feels like there's flecks of truth there. And that's hard.

I don't want things to be over with him but I haven't seen him in a week and haven't spoken to him in 6 days. And I know that's not long but when you live in the same city, it's hurtful. So I've raged and been down and cried about him but now I'm just nowhere.

When I'm trying to sleep, I think about us and my heart drops to my stomach but only when I'm alone in bed. When I think about him any other time, there's just a sense of blurry resignment somewhere. That makes it sound like I've accepted defeat with us when I haven't. I just don't know what to do. Hence the lack of communication. I've had talks with people (housemates, uni friends, mum, dad) and the consensus seems to be to let him realise that he misses me and for him to get in contact.

I just worry that I'll be a long time waiting.

In other interim news, my Shakespeare module sort of fucked me over this week by announcing that, whereas in other modules it was acceptable to own non-recommended texts, with Shakespeare texts it is not as acceptable. It will "detrimentally affect" my studies. Because of the sheer volume of criticism and translation difficulties with Shakespeare. Now, if I had the money, I would have no problem buying the recommended Oxford/Arden/Cambridge versions. But I don't, unless I want to spend all of a week's budget on it.

Another point in the interim relates to uni again; one of the modules I was taking this semester was cancelled yesterday. This presents a problem because
1. I had already bought my books for Autobiographics
2. I like the books for Autobiographics
3. My budget is going to be destroyed by having to buy new books (see above paragraph)
4. There are not that many other modules that I wanted to do in the department.
5. This is the first week of Semester 2. It is more than likely I have missed any introductory lectures I was supposed to have.

The interim, ladies and gentlemen. Money, uni and men.

I wish I could say I was heartbroken and curled up on my bed but I'm not. But I'm not doing well emotionally, I guess. I don't feel like I'm feeling very much but that might just be my problems getting to sleep before 3am. Maybe. Or the post-exam cold that spreads around university and has hit Sheaf House at the minute.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive and need to harden the fuck up.
klena: (going down swinging)
....So....are Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer engaged? Twitpic from Neil has a photo with Amanda with what looks like an engagement ring on her finger.

In other news, 'sup exam in 20 hours and oh god am i not ready for it. I think I might actually have a heart attack
klena: (familiar faces and mixed up memories)
Okay so "Church of Hot Addiction" is a really bad tune to listen to when I'm trying to write essays in the library because it makes me want to get up on this tiny desk and start shaking my hips and fist-pumping and singing my heart out!

Although it does seem like I write the best stuff whenever I've got really pumping, fast-beat music on. I always thought essay-writing music should be calm and non-distracting, like Explosions in the Sky or Air or Death Cab or 65daysofstatic, but apparently I was wrong. The current iTunes playlist features Fall Out Boy, Rammestein, Led Zepplin, Cobra Starship, My Chemical Romance, Dragonforce, The Misfits, Muse, Mindless Self Indulgence, Bad Religion, Amanda Palmer, Panic! At The Disco, The Dresden Dolls, Rob Zombie, Kansas, Boston, Styx, AC/DC, Tori Amos, The Caesars, Saliva, Daft Punk, Chris Cornell, Static-X, We Are Scientists, Hole, Rodrido Y Gabriela etc etc.

I love music so much

10 days of bitching and bewailing boys and a simple text asking do i want to go out for dinner tonight is making my heart pound in my chest and a stupid smile appear on my face. Something to work towards.

5702/7000 come on
klena: (dorky band of dorks)
I have a confession to make. I had not listened to the entire "Who Killed Amanda Palmer" album despite my slightly unholy love for Amanda Palmer. Purely because I had not got all the tracks on the album. All this was solved just under a week ago and I am in love people *_* sparkly eyed, 'take me, do what you want, i am totally easy for you', heart beating just fast enough to make all the extremities tingle with life.

Currently, I'm listening to "Astronaut" which is where my subject line comes from. It's got Amanda Palmer throwing herself into her playing, thumping empassioned piano intro but filled with strings and every word she sings, you can feel her heart, hear her utter involvement with what she's singing.

Did I mention the album is produced by Ben Folds? 'Cause it is.

In non-music, flailing news, it is the last week of university! Huzzah! Except that for the first time in my uni career, I have actual work besides exam revision over the break. The work is two essays culminating in a decent 7000 words.

/o\

There may be mild worry about this especially as things in my life this past week have been more social in nature than academic. Which spells a day in the library for me tomorrow. Huzzah. Feel the enthusiasm there folks? That's because there isn't any. Well, there is a little bit. The library I study in is very very pretty *_* and I do enjoy being away from the distraction that is my room (Seriously, I live in this space, how do I always find so much to seque myself away from work? It is a skill folks.)

I have also been ponificating about my birthday. Because I am starting to get old. OLD, CHILDREN. I guess LJ is the wrong place to say that because most of my close LJ friends are older than me, ha ha ha. But, 23! Although, I am going to play the Blonde Redhead of the same name over the course of the year to remind me that the number 23 can be filled with awesome things. AWESOME THINGS DAMMIT!

Another call again for New Years Letters, my loves! Get in before my birthday ;)

Bed? I think so.

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