That's *hard*. I mean...Well, obviously putting aside the fog of denial that I have at the minute about the whole thing, yes and no. What a stupid answer! But it is true. I mean, I can't wait to go and do the studying thing again and I can't wait to start studying Japanese, wow, I really can't and I've heard so many fantastic things about Leeds and I know people are right when they say that my whole *world* is going to expand in the next few weeks, I know they are.
On the other hand, I can't...I mean, I'm having trouble with my life here. Or rather, the thought of leaving it. I mean, McDonalds has been my life for the past 10 months and I got all these amazing friends and, gods help me, a boyfriend out of it (and I'll talk about him in a sec) and then I've got my fucking *family* here, as much as they drive me crazy and hurt me and help me and love me and then I've got the people who've been my friends for *years* and I'm leaving everything I've ever known. I've never been to Leeds, I've never lived in a large city and Leeds is fucking HUGE compared to Downpatrick. And my new McDonalds - will they like me?
And then there's Matt who, yeah, has fucked me about and isn't exactly the world's best boyfriend but he's still my boyfriend and I care about him so much and I love being with him and just, y'know?
So there's my answer. Yes I am - I can't wait, it's going to be *amazing* and it's a whole other world and no, I'm terrified and I just want to stay here and be with Matt and work and be with those I love. But change is what makes us the people we are, ne? So that's what I feel. Does it make sense?
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2006-08-20 04:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-08-21 02:05 am (UTC)That's *hard*. I mean...Well, obviously putting aside the fog of denial that I have at the minute about the whole thing, yes and no. What a stupid answer! But it is true. I mean, I can't wait to go and do the studying thing again and I can't wait to start studying Japanese, wow, I really can't and I've heard so many fantastic things about Leeds and I know people are right when they say that my whole *world* is going to expand in the next few weeks, I know they are.
On the other hand, I can't...I mean, I'm having trouble with my life here. Or rather, the thought of leaving it. I mean, McDonalds has been my life for the past 10 months and I got all these amazing friends and, gods help me, a boyfriend out of it (and I'll talk about him in a sec) and then I've got my fucking *family* here, as much as they drive me crazy and hurt me and help me and love me and then I've got the people who've been my friends for *years* and I'm leaving everything I've ever known. I've never been to Leeds, I've never lived in a large city and Leeds is fucking HUGE compared to Downpatrick. And my new McDonalds - will they like me?
And then there's Matt who, yeah, has fucked me about and isn't exactly the world's best boyfriend but he's still my boyfriend and I care about him so much and I love being with him and just, y'know?
So there's my answer. Yes I am - I can't wait, it's going to be *amazing* and it's a whole other world and no, I'm terrified and I just want to stay here and be with Matt and work and be with those I love. But change is what makes us the people we are, ne? So that's what I feel. Does it make sense?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-22 03:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-03 02:44 pm (UTC)