Remember me as a time of day

[klena]

So, introspection, right?

I've been thinking about myself since I started travelling. I had a really rough patch last year with my depression - I was told by someone close to me once I got to Japan that my course had seen just how low I was and thought I wouldn't be able to pull myself back from just how low I was. But I did and he, as well as many others, told me how wonderful it was that I did it. Even Andy, my best friend, had doubted just how I would recover. He told me that many people wouldn't have fought to get out of the situation, the fog, like I did which I did because it was what I was taught to do.

Then I went to Japan, and I developed relationships. I had really serious indepth, horribly adult talks with people about issues I had, problems in our relationships, about my own personal fuck-ups with not communicating and we worked them out. We talked about them and our relationship changed in a good way. Which I had never imagined.

I realised, over the course of the past few months, how important the people I have are to me and just how much I need them and how I've slipped out of touch.

I realised, during my stay in LA, that I love to learn or rather just how much I had loved to learn, that I miss being the intellectual I used to be; reading books, watching movies, discovering new bands to listen to, new fandoms, talking and debating.

I like the person I am at the minute. Granted, I still fuck-up. I make mistakes. I don't ask for help when I know I should but I am cutting down the gulf-times. I am still a mess of problems but I'm working on them.

And I've had some amazing experiences since I've been travelling and I don't want them to go to waste. I want to take these last few months as well as the few in front of me, and have a really fantastic time and grow and change and just my travels as a starting point for the person I'm going to be.

I want you with me as I do this. Yes, you. Even if we've fallen out of contact/never really spoken/have just met/adore each other/don't talk like we used to but still enjoy moments of togetherness.

I want you to help me change. I want you to educate me in the things you know. I want you to tell me the movies you think *everyone* should see, even if you think everyone's already seen them. The books that changed your life - the songs you sing that never fail to cheer you up - the little bit of fandom that you've just discovered that you want to learn more about.

I want you to tell me these things. I want you to tell me about yourself. I want us to become closer again. And I, for my part, will try to also educate. I'll let you know, as I learn, what matters to me, the bands I love, the movies that are amazing, my views and what I think about on idle Tuesdays.

So, let us start moving - let's become close again. Let's talk and enjoy being young and have fun and learn and grow, because we want to.

Thank you

Comments

[klena.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It has been harder and the depression is scary when I look back on how low I was, but I'm not that person anymore. I think the change is good for me and I know how much of a rollercoaster this is going to be. It's going to be tough and there's going to be days where I'm going to get low and the fog will creep in but I'm going to great stronger and one day, the fog won't affect me anymore.

I'm glad you find the post inspiring - I was just writing what I felt. I'll keep at it! I'm going to do my best!

And I know you're always here; that makes things so much easier. And remember, that I'm here for you too, always. ♥ ♥

[trowicia.livejournal.com]

Right on! It'll get easier with time, and once in a while that fog will creep back in, but you've got the perfect attitude to combat it. :)

*thumbs up* Stay confident and determined, girl!

That means a lot, thank you. :) ♥ like whoa.

[klena.livejournal.com]

(late replies are late!)

It will and it's been a bit funny recently because I'm waiting around for little details to come through that are going to kick me back into gear but...yeah. I want to change. I want to be a better person and absorb from everyone exactly what I can and make people happy.

*thumbs up* Damn right I will, darling! You too! Let's fight together! (Us World Rulers are sounding suspiciously like a shounen manga now :D)

It is never a problem because I utterly adore you, love. ♥ ♥