Remember me as a time of day

[klena]

So, introspection, right?

I've been thinking about myself since I started travelling. I had a really rough patch last year with my depression - I was told by someone close to me once I got to Japan that my course had seen just how low I was and thought I wouldn't be able to pull myself back from just how low I was. But I did and he, as well as many others, told me how wonderful it was that I did it. Even Andy, my best friend, had doubted just how I would recover. He told me that many people wouldn't have fought to get out of the situation, the fog, like I did which I did because it was what I was taught to do.

Then I went to Japan, and I developed relationships. I had really serious indepth, horribly adult talks with people about issues I had, problems in our relationships, about my own personal fuck-ups with not communicating and we worked them out. We talked about them and our relationship changed in a good way. Which I had never imagined.

I realised, over the course of the past few months, how important the people I have are to me and just how much I need them and how I've slipped out of touch.

I realised, during my stay in LA, that I love to learn or rather just how much I had loved to learn, that I miss being the intellectual I used to be; reading books, watching movies, discovering new bands to listen to, new fandoms, talking and debating.

I like the person I am at the minute. Granted, I still fuck-up. I make mistakes. I don't ask for help when I know I should but I am cutting down the gulf-times. I am still a mess of problems but I'm working on them.

And I've had some amazing experiences since I've been travelling and I don't want them to go to waste. I want to take these last few months as well as the few in front of me, and have a really fantastic time and grow and change and just my travels as a starting point for the person I'm going to be.

I want you with me as I do this. Yes, you. Even if we've fallen out of contact/never really spoken/have just met/adore each other/don't talk like we used to but still enjoy moments of togetherness.

I want you to help me change. I want you to educate me in the things you know. I want you to tell me the movies you think *everyone* should see, even if you think everyone's already seen them. The books that changed your life - the songs you sing that never fail to cheer you up - the little bit of fandom that you've just discovered that you want to learn more about.

I want you to tell me these things. I want you to tell me about yourself. I want us to become closer again. And I, for my part, will try to also educate. I'll let you know, as I learn, what matters to me, the bands I love, the movies that are amazing, my views and what I think about on idle Tuesdays.

So, let us start moving - let's become close again. Let's talk and enjoy being young and have fun and learn and grow, because we want to.

Thank you

Comments

[isthatjamie.livejournal.com]

I think you're embarking on something revolutionary here. It's a great phase to be moving into! I remember how scared I was, but over the past several years I've come to like who I've become, and I've gradually apologized to and forgiven myself for all of my shortcomings and screw-ups in the past. I can't say I'm through it all now, but it's been a hell of a journey so far. Good luck on yours!

[marlinkhylacat]

LET US INITAITE OUR OWN MINI-SATOSHI-CKON.

....Right after I return from Arizona. JAMIE WILL CORRUPT YOU TO THINGS WHILE I'M GONE.

[threnodaemis.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad I met you. I sincerely hope that I get to be a part of this journey you're on. First impressions being what they are, my first impression of you is a great one. I look forward to becoming your friend.

If there's anything you need, never hesitate to call.

[angelbirdemmi.livejournal.com]

I really like how you're rediscovering yourself like this. It seems very organic and beneficial and I'm proud of you for it.

I can see we'll have lots to talk about when you get to NY. We can walk around, but sitting around in one of the parks and just talking seems like a good idea, too.

[isthatjamie.livejournal.com]

Dude! Premature?

We still lack Tokyo Godfathers D:

Also, too much pressure on the corruption front?

[marlinkhylacat]

DUDE. Never too much pressure. NEVER.

And see, since she won't be here for REAL Satoshi- C K Con-ness in the fall, we have to do what we can now. D: I fully intend to order the Paranoia Agent boxset while she's here. She and I can watch it to "make sure the discs work" before it makes its world debut this autumn. ;)

[waxrose.livejournal.com]

♥ I love you lots and I hope that we get a chance to have a good talk together again soon.

[blindeadmcjones.livejournal.com]

Love you, dearest darling. <3 I'm so glad to hear all this.

I don't know if you have it already but I am sending you Lovesong, by The Cure, because it is one of my favourite songs ever. It always makes me think of how ridiculously lucky I am to have such amazing people in my life. :D http://www.megaupload.com/?d=I0O5F3BV

[trowicia.livejournal.com]

I'm so proud of you. I know how hard it is to pull yourself out of depression. But this change is most definitely a good road to be on: there will be ups and downs, but with a new way of thinking, you can make the most of it all. This post is very inspiring, you are very inspiring. Keep at it, girl! :) I'm always here if you need me.

[klena.livejournal.com]

I want to believe that I am starting my own personal revolution and I'm really glad to have your support! Especially as you're someone who's ahead of me in the Revolutionary Process. It doesn't matter that you're not all through it now, what matters is that you're making your way through it, isn't it? Thank you!

[klena.livejournal.com]

I'd love for you to be part of the journey! I mean, I'm learning and I want to learn from everyone I know and I've met. Everyone has something to teach other people, right? And I can't tell you how happy I am that I made a good first impression - you and Jamie both seem to be wonderful people and I look forward to becoming your friend too.

[klena.livejournal.com]

That means a lot to me, little sister. I've been near this point for a while - I've felt the itch of change and that's part of the reason why I decided to start travelling because I knew I need it. However, apparently this is the point where I'm falling into it. It's scary, but it's exciting too.

That sounds utterly amazing - I can't wait. Just to sit and talk with you sounds fantastic and being shown about New York also sounds wonderful.

[klena.livejournal.com]

♥ you're my wifey and you're an amazing woman with such a good heart - I really hope we get to talk again soon as well. It was wonderful the one little phone call we had plus I have letters that I need to get sent to you!

[klena.livejournal.com]

Love you, my darling chaos-bringer <3

I don't actually have it! And I haven't heard it in ages - I forgot how much I loved it! And the reason you have amazing people in your life is because you're an amazing person, Azi~ ♥

[klena.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much. It has been harder and the depression is scary when I look back on how low I was, but I'm not that person anymore. I think the change is good for me and I know how much of a rollercoaster this is going to be. It's going to be tough and there's going to be days where I'm going to get low and the fog will creep in but I'm going to great stronger and one day, the fog won't affect me anymore.

I'm glad you find the post inspiring - I was just writing what I felt. I'll keep at it! I'm going to do my best!

And I know you're always here; that makes things so much easier. And remember, that I'm here for you too, always. ♥ ♥

[trowicia.livejournal.com]

Right on! It'll get easier with time, and once in a while that fog will creep back in, but you've got the perfect attitude to combat it. :)

*thumbs up* Stay confident and determined, girl!

That means a lot, thank you. :) ♥ like whoa.

[hartclanpaladin.livejournal.com]

I miss my MSN with you. We had such a laugh and I worry if you're ok. being all the way over there.

Absolute books of Reading: Pilgrim's progress. I found a bit of me in that book :D

[hartclanpaladin.livejournal.com]

Everyone is right too.

You've changed and become an even more wonderful person :D

[klena.livejournal.com]

(late replies are late!)

It will and it's been a bit funny recently because I'm waiting around for little details to come through that are going to kick me back into gear but...yeah. I want to change. I want to be a better person and absorb from everyone exactly what I can and make people happy.

*thumbs up* Damn right I will, darling! You too! Let's fight together! (Us World Rulers are sounding suspiciously like a shounen manga now :D)

It is never a problem because I utterly adore you, love. ♥ ♥

[klena.livejournal.com]

I miss MSNing with you too! It's been so long and even when I was sback home it was rare due to us working and stuff. :( I'LL TRY TO GET BETTER WITH ALL THIS CONTACT BUSINESS!

Thank you for being worried about me. Granted, sometimes it's completely merited due to me being 'special' but...learning curve! Also, these are the things that shape us, right?

I will look it up when I return home! Thank you!

[klena.livejournal.com]

This is all lies!

...But I'm trying to be better. :D?

[hartclanpaladin.livejournal.com]

No worries :D

[hartclanpaladin.livejournal.com]

You seem happier reently. so that can only be good :D

I need to do what you've done and go away for a while,

[klena.livejournal.com]

I'm....well, it's harder than I thought and I didn't imagine it to be that easy but...I'm trying - that's the best I can do, right?

Are things okay?

[(Anonymous)]

Yeah it cool, I just need time to get away fom everything for a bit and have a change.

that's what my trip to see Becky will be.

If i had more cash, I'd ask if I could crash your way :D

[klena.livejournal.com]

I know what that's like! Sometimes you just need a breather from real life, right?

And you would be welcome!...If I was there! :D