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klenaOK, so what got me all upset on Friday What crying over him? was sorta sorted. In Matt and my usual. Half-talking about it and just repeating where we stood.
We're gonna fuck each other up, I do know that. He told Amy on Friday night that he was gonna miss me when I left.
And so, Saturday I work 12-8. 20 minutes before my shift ends, he turns up. That's OK although I'm annoyed at him. He calls me out to talk to him. I stand at Front Counter about 10 feet away from him and ask 'what?'. He calls me out again. I go and listen to him talk about Floor Managers and our crew night out on Tuesday etc etc. Asks me if I'm going out that night. I say 'no' just to say it. And then he says
"My parents are going away on Tuesday on holiday and..um...do you fancy coming up and staying over some night next week?" (we live a few minutes walk away from each other)
Heart stops but I'm still annoyed.
"...yeah whatever."
He laughed slightly, but as if he was trying to make it seem like that was ok and said "So is that a no then?"
I make a little noise and go back to work.
So, come out of work with a few others as most of us are all off at 8. J.P and I decided to wait on Kelly-Marie (a newish girl but a bit of a pain) because she across the way from J.P and that's on my walk home. Sit beside Matt because there's no other seats - we all sit and chat. We talk about my accommodation contract and Matt says
"So you know when you're leaving then?"
"Yeah...I can move in on the 17th."
"What?! When?!"
"Huh? Of September."
"OH! So...not like, next week?"
"...No."
And J.P laughed and asked if Matt was all nervous there, me leaving early. Matt nodded.
We all sit and talk - I mock-plead with everyone to lend me £3000 for my rent. J.P tells me to go fuck. Mitch laughs at me, Matt tells me he'd give it to me if he had it. His mate Ruari says he'll give if to me if I give him £4000 back. Random chat etc. Finally Kelly-Marie is ready to go and we all start walking. Matt takes my hand the second we start walking. Except I'm still annoyed slightly.
But we all stop outside an off-license because Matt and Ruari need to get their carryouts for that night and Kelly-Marie and J.P want drink for going home. I'm not in the mood to drink so I stand outside with Matt and Ruari. Pull Matt up slightly on letting me down the night before. He makes a little noise agreeing.
Walk home with J.P and Kelly-Marie. End up deciding to go out.
Pull myself together. Wear my dogcollar and ankh necklace and pull my hair back and wear a black top. Not usually my Saturday night clothes, ha ha! Give in and text Matt, asking if he's still out. This is about 9:30. He says yeah. I go to this bar Brendan's where Jenni (best mate - 15 years etc) said she'd be that night. She isn't. So I get a drink and text Matt, asking where he is. He says
"a forest. where are you?"
"...what forest?! In Brendan's."
"Dunno. Have no clue where I am. Who you with?"
"With myself! Haha, I'm so cool! How can you not know where you are, you reject! :D"
No text back so I finish my drink, go to the garage up the street to get chewing gum. It pulls down tye shutters just as I get there. D:
I start walking behind the bus station (man I need to draw a map of Downpatrick or something) and ring Matt. There's an alarm going off in the background. I ask how he doesn't know where he is - ask if he's near the Cathedral. He says no.
"Well, where are you then?!"
"Dunno. But there's an alarm going off and it's really fucking annoying."
"...OK I can hear that too."
"...Can you see a fire?"
"Yeah."
"Can you see me?"
"...No."
"Are you behind the bus station?"
"Yeah."
"OK, I can see you. Be down in 2 minutes."
So he walks down and meets me. I go up as if to go up to the fire but he asks me to just come and sit with him. And so we do. For 3 hours. And we sit close and practically wrapped around each other and we talk and we talk. I swear, we talk about so much. He tells me about his family and we talk about our serious obsession with work and we talk about how we both love being touched (but not meaning in...like, y'know, a dirty way) and we talk about us. Which is what we don't really do.
He tells me that he hates going out with me because he hates pissing me off. I tell him that I get annoyed at him because I go out to spend time with him and I do stupid girly things like do my hair and wear nice-ish clothes and wear make-up for him and I never see him until about midnight when he's finished drinking with his mates.
"But - God, I don't...I don't need you to do that for me - I mean, Kathryn, that doesn't matter to me-"
"-I know it doesn't! But it's just a stupid girly thing I do *for* you. Not because you ask me to or because I know you want me to. I do it to make the effort."
"But...I'm not going out with you because of the way you look. It doesn't matter to me - you could come out in your greasy McDonalds uniform and that wouldn't matter to me. It's your personality that makes me want to go out with you - you're...you're so fucking dead on and that's why I love you. I love you, not the way you dress."
And what do you say to that? So I'm quiet and I hug him....and I think I laugh slightly and call him a retard, because we both are.
So, we agree to get a taxi about 1:30 and we talk more. Then about five to one, he puts The Kooks on (this song actually - 'Naive') which he puts on around me a bit and...Well. Yeah. Kissing at the back of the bus station. Silly young things. ^_~
We go, pick up his mates from their little fire and start walking up Downpatrick. We walk together and he surprises me (not the first time). We walk past The Alley and we laugh about spending time down there. I tell him I only ever spent one night down that alley with him and his mates and that I spent the rest of the night huddled over a candle in Denvir's (a hotel) trying to warm up.
"Oh yeah! That was the night we started going out."
"...You remembered that! J.P and Connor asked me how long we'd been going. I couldn't answer. That's really bad."
"Yeah! When was that?"
"Dunno. That first weekend you dragged me out was the start of...May? And that was a few weeks later."
"Huh...So. Two?-"
"-Two?-"
"-Three? No, two months, yeah?"
"Yeah...Yeah, that sounds about right."
We grin and head up to the Hoot (an 'alternative' bar) and get a chip. Meet one of the new lads from work, David (and his twin! Much confusion) who laughs at us and bitches to me. I bitch back and threaten to annoy him in work the next day, etc! XD
So that is Matt and I at the minute. And we worked together tonight and we're going out to the Crew Night on Tuesday night. Thoughts? Comments? Random ramblings? (oh-kay I rambled liek woah there. I cut now!)
OK. I've sat here for...55 minutes typing this up. No more!
Here. Promised![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
whitehaiku, brother!, that I'd repost. So I have.
The first ten people to comment get a free one-character request sketch. The catch? You have to post this in your journal, too.
We're gonna fuck each other up, I do know that. He told Amy on Friday night that he was gonna miss me when I left.
And so, Saturday I work 12-8. 20 minutes before my shift ends, he turns up. That's OK although I'm annoyed at him. He calls me out to talk to him. I stand at Front Counter about 10 feet away from him and ask 'what?'. He calls me out again. I go and listen to him talk about Floor Managers and our crew night out on Tuesday etc etc. Asks me if I'm going out that night. I say 'no' just to say it. And then he says
"My parents are going away on Tuesday on holiday and..um...do you fancy coming up and staying over some night next week?" (we live a few minutes walk away from each other)
Heart stops but I'm still annoyed.
"...yeah whatever."
He laughed slightly, but as if he was trying to make it seem like that was ok and said "So is that a no then?"
I make a little noise and go back to work.
So, come out of work with a few others as most of us are all off at 8. J.P and I decided to wait on Kelly-Marie (a newish girl but a bit of a pain) because she across the way from J.P and that's on my walk home. Sit beside Matt because there's no other seats - we all sit and chat. We talk about my accommodation contract and Matt says
"So you know when you're leaving then?"
"Yeah...I can move in on the 17th."
"What?! When?!"
"Huh? Of September."
"OH! So...not like, next week?"
"...No."
And J.P laughed and asked if Matt was all nervous there, me leaving early. Matt nodded.
We all sit and talk - I mock-plead with everyone to lend me £3000 for my rent. J.P tells me to go fuck. Mitch laughs at me, Matt tells me he'd give it to me if he had it. His mate Ruari says he'll give if to me if I give him £4000 back. Random chat etc. Finally Kelly-Marie is ready to go and we all start walking. Matt takes my hand the second we start walking. Except I'm still annoyed slightly.
But we all stop outside an off-license because Matt and Ruari need to get their carryouts for that night and Kelly-Marie and J.P want drink for going home. I'm not in the mood to drink so I stand outside with Matt and Ruari. Pull Matt up slightly on letting me down the night before. He makes a little noise agreeing.
Walk home with J.P and Kelly-Marie. End up deciding to go out.
Pull myself together. Wear my dogcollar and ankh necklace and pull my hair back and wear a black top. Not usually my Saturday night clothes, ha ha! Give in and text Matt, asking if he's still out. This is about 9:30. He says yeah. I go to this bar Brendan's where Jenni (best mate - 15 years etc) said she'd be that night. She isn't. So I get a drink and text Matt, asking where he is. He says
"a forest. where are you?"
"...what forest?! In Brendan's."
"Dunno. Have no clue where I am. Who you with?"
"With myself! Haha, I'm so cool! How can you not know where you are, you reject! :D"
No text back so I finish my drink, go to the garage up the street to get chewing gum. It pulls down tye shutters just as I get there. D:
I start walking behind the bus station (man I need to draw a map of Downpatrick or something) and ring Matt. There's an alarm going off in the background. I ask how he doesn't know where he is - ask if he's near the Cathedral. He says no.
"Well, where are you then?!"
"Dunno. But there's an alarm going off and it's really fucking annoying."
"...OK I can hear that too."
"...Can you see a fire?"
"Yeah."
"Can you see me?"
"...No."
"Are you behind the bus station?"
"Yeah."
"OK, I can see you. Be down in 2 minutes."
So he walks down and meets me. I go up as if to go up to the fire but he asks me to just come and sit with him. And so we do. For 3 hours. And we sit close and practically wrapped around each other and we talk and we talk. I swear, we talk about so much. He tells me about his family and we talk about our serious obsession with work and we talk about how we both love being touched (but not meaning in...like, y'know, a dirty way) and we talk about us. Which is what we don't really do.
He tells me that he hates going out with me because he hates pissing me off. I tell him that I get annoyed at him because I go out to spend time with him and I do stupid girly things like do my hair and wear nice-ish clothes and wear make-up for him and I never see him until about midnight when he's finished drinking with his mates.
"But - God, I don't...I don't need you to do that for me - I mean, Kathryn, that doesn't matter to me-"
"-I know it doesn't! But it's just a stupid girly thing I do *for* you. Not because you ask me to or because I know you want me to. I do it to make the effort."
"But...I'm not going out with you because of the way you look. It doesn't matter to me - you could come out in your greasy McDonalds uniform and that wouldn't matter to me. It's your personality that makes me want to go out with you - you're...you're so fucking dead on and that's why I love you. I love you, not the way you dress."
And what do you say to that? So I'm quiet and I hug him....and I think I laugh slightly and call him a retard, because we both are.
So, we agree to get a taxi about 1:30 and we talk more. Then about five to one, he puts The Kooks on (this song actually - 'Naive') which he puts on around me a bit and...Well. Yeah. Kissing at the back of the bus station. Silly young things. ^_~
We go, pick up his mates from their little fire and start walking up Downpatrick. We walk together and he surprises me (not the first time). We walk past The Alley and we laugh about spending time down there. I tell him I only ever spent one night down that alley with him and his mates and that I spent the rest of the night huddled over a candle in Denvir's (a hotel) trying to warm up.
"Oh yeah! That was the night we started going out."
"...You remembered that! J.P and Connor asked me how long we'd been going. I couldn't answer. That's really bad."
"Yeah! When was that?"
"Dunno. That first weekend you dragged me out was the start of...May? And that was a few weeks later."
"Huh...So. Two?-"
"-Two?-"
"-Three? No, two months, yeah?"
"Yeah...Yeah, that sounds about right."
We grin and head up to the Hoot (an 'alternative' bar) and get a chip. Meet one of the new lads from work, David (and his twin! Much confusion) who laughs at us and bitches to me. I bitch back and threaten to annoy him in work the next day, etc! XD
So that is Matt and I at the minute. And we worked together tonight and we're going out to the Crew Night on Tuesday night. Thoughts? Comments? Random ramblings? (oh-kay I rambled liek woah there. I cut now!)
OK. I've sat here for...55 minutes typing this up. No more!
Here. Promised
whitehaiku, brother!, that I'd repost. So I have.The first ten people to comment get a free one-character request sketch. The catch? You have to post this in your journal, too.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-08-07 12:26 pm (UTC)As for the relationship thing...well...it doesn't sound too bad. There's always strife in love, and if you fuck each other up, there's also healing to be had, ne?
no subject
Date: 2006-08-08 01:00 pm (UTC)It's not so bad. It's lovely being with him most of the time. That is true, 'bout the healing. Very true. Wish words, dear.