klena | (no subject)

I'm currently avoiding my room because I tore it apart looking for my conceptual Sirius and Remus sketches. Didn't find them and my room is a bombsight because of it.

Dammit, and I wanted to finish the kinky Sirius/Remus picture tonight. Arrgh. Oh well.

I've discovered to apply for the Oxford English course, they want two submissions of written work. One of which will be my "The Turn Of The Screw" coursework. The other, I have no clue about. Ms. Tobin suggested a creative writing piece or a literary criticism. Started a creative writing thing. Haven't got very far. Balls, piss, crap.

I'm thrilled that Donal's having a good time at uni. I really am. ^_~ Rock on D.

I want my scanner to work. I have a ton of fan-art and random stuff that I'd love to get on my deviantart sight but *kicks bloody machine* I can.

So I substitute by writing more Remus/Sirius stuff and ZQL introductions.

I love this song. It's called "Moon" and is supposidely by Yoko Kanno but I don't think it is.

I loved butterflies. Something about their transcendent beauty and their desperate, jaunty flight patterns caught my attention and held me captive until there was nothing in the world but the butterflies and their dance.

I hated the butterflies. I hated them so much that I caught them in jars and cut off their oxygen and pulled off their wings. I tore the wings like paper dreams and flung them into the air, laughing myself until I was so sick I cried. Then I cried until I was sick.

I would have been laughed at. Or maybe sent to a "special doctor". I didn't really care.

I was obsessed with the butterflies.

I wanted to fall into the sky and never remember my name or why I had fallen. I just wanted to fall until all my perceptions were skewed and memories melted into misty mush.

But that never happened. So I watched the butterflies - fell in love until my heart broke and cyanide filled the shards. I tortured. I laughed. I danced. I sobbed. I broke.

I was a butterfly in my mind...

...but could never be where I wanted to be.