(no subject)

[klena]

I'm worried. I can't explain why but there's apathy growing in my chest and it hurts because apathy is something I fear.
I've seen people who are so apathetic that no one can help them.
People so dead inside that friendship and love has no effect.
This scares me because I fear I'll become that way.

Maybe I'm just freaking out over nothing...

I was thinking about Kathryn's story (the character, not me) and how I'm going to change it, just because my granny gave me a necklace tonight.

right. Now that I've got that out of the way

(stolen from a random livejournal)
Ask me three questions on anything you want to know about me. They can be any topic and I will answer them.

Maybe a shower and sleep will do me good.

Also, maybe listening to The Cure has set me in this state of mind.

Comments

[whitehaiku.livejournal.com]

1. Which do you enjoy more, creating or experiencing?

2. Have you ever cried out of the simple witnessing of something made of pure beauty?

3. What do you consider your greatest interpersonal skill?

[klena.livejournal.com]

1. I enjoy both but I think I enjoy creating more because of the knowledge that something *I* create could bring pleasure to more people than myself. Having said that experiencing causes a great sense of joy within me because I can see myself mirrored in works or I see someone articulate (not always in a verbal way) thoughts and theories and feelings of my own.

2. Yes, many times. On a school trip to Paris, we were in the Louvre and I just walked about, looking at the paintings and statues, forcing my cries to be slightly quieter but not entirely muted. That was nice, as was seeing others do so.
Sometimes it's not a something that can cause me to cry out but a someone or a time when everything seems to be perfect. Many days I've spent with friends, just us, have had me crying out because everything just is so right and I don't think I could be happier and all I can do is cry out and smile.

3. I'm not quite sure. I'm really bad at 'selling' myself (perhaps the wrong term) but if I had to choose...I think it would be my loyalty to those who matter to me. If I feel a connection to someone, even someone I've just met, I will go out of my way to make them happy or to help them. If people I love need me, I will do whatever I can to help them accomplish their goals or requirements.
However, this is also a weak link of mine in a way because I can be too loyal to a person and be unable to step back whenever they refuse all help. About a year ago I finally had to step back from a good friend and just allow her to destroy herself before she could heal, on her own. After that experience, I feel that I learned what I needed to and came out of it slightly better off.