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My final exam was shit.
Just like the module tried to teach us too much without going into detail about anything in particular. Covering Modernism and Post-modernism in one module is too much to expect, even if it is regarding Japanese modernity/post-modernity. We only got a reading list the first week of term, there were never enought copies of the books in the library to read and the union shop didn't stock them. All in all, the module was quite a let-down. The movies we studied weren't interesting, we weren't taught how to "read" film or given any directed focus for our studies. Even the 3000 word essay we had to do, the extent of our instruction was "write on whatever you want". That is all well and good, but I'm sort of looking to pass this module, thanks.
The exam came around today and Hannah, Leah, Hayden and I had been freaking out about it. We were sitting together debating ideas and themes and quotes and not having a clue what to revise. The exam came around. The paper made me want to leave and not do it. To make matters worse, Irena (our tutor) came into the exam and asked if we had any questions about the paper. Like what, how you dicked us over by barely teaching us or why the fuck do you hate us and not want us to pass? Irena is an intelligent woman, she's just not a great teacher. She doesn't communicate her knowledge effectively and, whilst I respect her desire for anarchy/not spoon-feeding us on the module, her reading lists were pathetically lacking and her classes bored me and I resented going to a class where I never actively learnt very much.
So the exam was horrible and I was so angry coming out. So angry. And there's nothing to be done about it.
But I saw Dave and napped at his so everything got a little better because, as he and my mum reminded me, that is my exams over. I am free until the beginning of Lecture week, which is Monday.
Happiness a little undermined by Dave telling me he was kicking me out because he had work to do and said he didn't do work while I was there and he wanted an early night to get up early. And yes, I hold my hands up, I did tell him to tell me when he needed me to leave so he could do things like that but it hurt like a bitch. Because I've worked really hard these past 3 weeks to get to this point, to be free to actually spend some time with him and he was making me leave. It's a childish, selfish point but I earned my Dave-time and being deprived made me want to stamp my feet a litte bit. This whole argument point makes me sound like a brat and like Dave is a toy or commodity but it's not easy to get time together, especially as he's a workaholic and he pushes me to prioritise my university work almost to the point of sacrificing time with him.
I am being narky. It is childish. I am aware of this but I wanted to get it down for posterity.
In order to make myself feel a little better I think I'm going to have a spring clean tomorrow and maybe go to the Oxfam bookshop before the "Return of the King" Sheaf-watching tomorrow night.
In conclusion, I am alone in my own bed and I feel a little shit about exams and myself a little bit right now so....I don't know. Be gentle. Reassure me. Just please be kind.
Just like the module tried to teach us too much without going into detail about anything in particular. Covering Modernism and Post-modernism in one module is too much to expect, even if it is regarding Japanese modernity/post-modernity. We only got a reading list the first week of term, there were never enought copies of the books in the library to read and the union shop didn't stock them. All in all, the module was quite a let-down. The movies we studied weren't interesting, we weren't taught how to "read" film or given any directed focus for our studies. Even the 3000 word essay we had to do, the extent of our instruction was "write on whatever you want". That is all well and good, but I'm sort of looking to pass this module, thanks.
The exam came around today and Hannah, Leah, Hayden and I had been freaking out about it. We were sitting together debating ideas and themes and quotes and not having a clue what to revise. The exam came around. The paper made me want to leave and not do it. To make matters worse, Irena (our tutor) came into the exam and asked if we had any questions about the paper. Like what, how you dicked us over by barely teaching us or why the fuck do you hate us and not want us to pass? Irena is an intelligent woman, she's just not a great teacher. She doesn't communicate her knowledge effectively and, whilst I respect her desire for anarchy/not spoon-feeding us on the module, her reading lists were pathetically lacking and her classes bored me and I resented going to a class where I never actively learnt very much.
So the exam was horrible and I was so angry coming out. So angry. And there's nothing to be done about it.
But I saw Dave and napped at his so everything got a little better because, as he and my mum reminded me, that is my exams over. I am free until the beginning of Lecture week, which is Monday.
Happiness a little undermined by Dave telling me he was kicking me out because he had work to do and said he didn't do work while I was there and he wanted an early night to get up early. And yes, I hold my hands up, I did tell him to tell me when he needed me to leave so he could do things like that but it hurt like a bitch. Because I've worked really hard these past 3 weeks to get to this point, to be free to actually spend some time with him and he was making me leave. It's a childish, selfish point but I earned my Dave-time and being deprived made me want to stamp my feet a litte bit. This whole argument point makes me sound like a brat and like Dave is a toy or commodity but it's not easy to get time together, especially as he's a workaholic and he pushes me to prioritise my university work almost to the point of sacrificing time with him.
I am being narky. It is childish. I am aware of this but I wanted to get it down for posterity.
In order to make myself feel a little better I think I'm going to have a spring clean tomorrow and maybe go to the Oxfam bookshop before the "Return of the King" Sheaf-watching tomorrow night.
In conclusion, I am alone in my own bed and I feel a little shit about exams and myself a little bit right now so....I don't know. Be gentle. Reassure me. Just please be kind.
