I had a day of annual leave today and it's turned out to be one of the best days I've had in a long time :)

Started the morning by just ignoring Dave's alarms until nearly 9:45am when the postman woke us up delivering some interesting new things and then not too much later, another delivery turned up with a new bed! Dave and I had been looking at new beds over the weekend and found one on eBay we really liked, but hadn't decided on buying it. So Dave had bought it secretely, thought it was going to turn up tomorrow when I wasn't at work and was going to assemble it for us :) What a fucking gem of a boyfriend I have!

So after these deliveries, we walked into town (in the absolute torrential pouring rain) and went to Johnny Fontanes. Oh God. Oh my god delicious food. American cheese fries, a lemon and herb chicken burger and a Root Beer float. It was amazing. And we've got another voucher for it so we are going to rock that joint. And by "rock that joint", I mean eat as much food as humanly possible.

Then - adult move time! We went to speak to a mortage adviser. I KNOW. ADULT MOVES! So we chatted with them about our chances for a mortage and what we needed to do to set us up in good stead when we finish saving our deposit (in the next 6-18 months hopefully!). I set up a new account to help our "internal credit rating"! ADULT MOVES OF ADULTHOOD!

We got home from all this, I helped Dave sort his orders out, I dicked about on the internet and nearly fell asleep before we built our new bed. NEW BED! And it's King-size motherfuckers! Come stay with us! You can cuddle with Dave and I, we promise we won't make it weird ;) Look at it, fawn over it like we have!



So we managed to finish that at 9pm and so we were naughty and ordered take-away instead of cooking dinner. It was totally going to be chausierre chicken and rice. But it takes an hour to make so we took the easy option.

Then I ordered a piece of furniture for me. We have no mirror and I don't have a lot of storage space for my jewellery and GROUPON HAD A DEAL FOR A MIRROR ARMOIRE :O Its like it was FATE. So I ordered me this bad boy!



Now I am cuddled in bed with my boy and I have work tomorrow, but only have a 3 day week to work and today was great. Yay :) ♥

I haven't blogged properly in a few weeks because of the fucking extra-ordinary circumstances I now find myself in.

I'm not going to pour my heart out about it here, it's not the time or the place. And also, whilst I have a large circle of friends who I believe should all get to know what's happening, I don't want the additional stress of wondering who they'll tell and the potential judgement that comes with everything we say. So better to keep my mouth closed.

It's much easier functioning from day to day now, but I think that's only because there is no option for me to run away from the business. This is something that I have to get through, because burying my head in the sand would destroy something that a lot of time and effort and dedication has gone into.

It'll be a month on Friday, which is strange. I keep wondering if I've actually just cracked mentally because surely I, with my history of falling apart, should have had a proper breakdown by now? Although maybe that's what those first few days were.

In another way, it is nice to know that I do have inner strength. I always wondered if I did.

There is the possibility of big news next week which will give me a possible end date to work towards. I wasn't expecting any news on that topic for at least a month so it was a little startling to hear it today.

These past few weeks and everything that has come with them has made me think a lot about the nature of love and of being in love.

I love a lot, even though I feel like a twisted, bitter old crone sometimes. And I am a bit of a wretched person sometimes, I don't work hard enough to maintain friendships and I'm a hermit when things get hard, and sometimes I just can't be bothered. But I do honestly care and love a lot of people. I love some people that I know no longer think of me, I love people who I see everyday, and I love people I've never met.

But when it comes to Love and of Being In Love, well...

I always assumed that you just knew when you were in love with a person, that it was as obvious as the days of the week, as your very own hands stretched out before you.

And it's not like that at all, is it? Being in love is quiet, and catches you unaware when you remember - like a small gesture, the cupping of your cheek or seeing them breathe beside you at night or the look in their eyes that you half-catch. Being in love is a background thing, that waits to remind you patiently of its existence, like your distant awareness of your limbs during the day when you aren't doing anything crucial with them.

It's not fireworks and torrid passion and burning intensity, although those definitely do happen too. Yet those things happen when you're not in love with someone, you just think you are. Sadly, been there, done that and what a fucking mess that was!

Being in love makes me feel a little embarrassed to phrase it like that. It sounds soppy and overly cute or even borderline nauseating. But I know I am. Because he's made me better for being with him, and made me worse in some ways (but only in little things).

But possibly the biggest thing that makes me know that I must be in love with him is how I will do what needs to be done for us and the thought of our future together. And I'm doing it, without a mental breakdown (just mini flaps of distress) and without anger or resentment because I see this as something we need to do, a hurdle that needs leapt over (or a wall that needs climbing really) in order for us to move forward with our lives.

It's not easy. But I feel the end result is going to be worth it. And even if it isn't, and we don't last forever like we want to, I know I'll be able to say to people in years to come that yes, I was definitely in love at least once in my life and it was real and I wasn't misguided and it wasn't one-sided.

And that's enough for me, at the moment. So I'll wait and continue with everything, and keep living until all this is done, and then we'll get to move on together. And I think it's going to be fantastic.

This was going to be yet another emo-esq blog entry about me potentially having to leave university and my life and my housemate and money and not being able to work out when i was get to go home and how much i miss people and oh god, my friend's going to have a baby girl in about three months --

but it's not. Enough about me for a bit and how I have spent my night eating student food and watching Supernatural and faffing on the internet instead of working.

I've been awake so stupidly long becuase my sleepig schedule is messed up but for now, I am letting my introspection vanish with the dying dark (but maybe just for tonight).

Today (all days) are going to be about you, my list. This entry is for you. Vent in my comments about the injustices you are stuck with now, the little things you want to change, questions you have or a subject you want opinions on.

Let me know little things about you - the quirks that make you who you are and the little routines of your life. How do you take your tea/coffee? Do you have a specific way of arranging your music or your DVDs? What are you reading now? (what do you have on your shelf that you have been meaning to read for years?)

And indulge me and tell me a reason why you keep me on you list.

I have absolutely no reason to post. I am awesome, blatantly. :D

I am...still in Boston! \o/

Although I'm getting the itching scratching under-my-skin feeling of how close I am to home and then guilt for not appreciating being here now. Damn it Catholicism! I am mentally shaking my fist at you.

Other things I am shaking my fist at:
- Wanting to dye my hair
- Trying to get My Chemical Romance tickets without a credit card
- My complete and utter lack of writing skills

...

I really do want to dye my hair. :( I blame hot goth/alternative/emo kids. I want my hair lots of colours again instead of the washed-out brown-red-ginger mix it is now. Damn it society!

I also very much want another piercing and/or my tattoo before I head home but I should maybe be a little more cautious about this.

I also want to be a skinny cute little scene kid at the minute but that is not happening anytime in the near future it seems. Damn you food!

Although not you tea. Tea is always there for me and I adore it. Tea makes my world go around.

This post has been utterly pointless thus far. This makes me sad.

What also makes me sad is my lack of doing anything. I should have finished this ficlet for crazychickencow and been updating my journal (the real travel one) and drawing my frustrating, brain-numb amount of ideas swirling around but instead no.

It also doesn't help that my Zen does not seem to be charging on my godmother's computer and her computer has NO SOUND and the DVD player will not play my MP3 CDs so I am musicless at the moment. I cannot function without music people! I do actually not do well without it. >(

I should go and take the dogs for a walk because I haven't today. Damn.

...

I really want to go to MCR :( Damn!

And my paid account expires in, like, 4 days. Fare ye well, paid account! I both knew and loved thee.

However, on the plus side, (because this entry has too much whining) I did get a really cute houndstooth skirt and silk black shirt for $12 in Newbury and my mum has sent me some money to buy things with. No, actually flat out said, 'buy yourself nice things'. I have the world's most awesome mother ever. EVER.

Also, when I get home, I'll be able to download Arashi tv shows (and where are the sites for that? Because I am internet retarded) and work on my Sekkrit Projects and start my photo wall again and lots of nice things like watch the awesome J-Dramas I watched with littleredfox and hang out with my friends and not get ID'd for alcohol :D

Excellent! These are indeed good things. Now, I just have to be amazingly awesome and work out a way to buy these tickets. Go brain go!

RANDOM THINGS THAT MAKE A KATHRYN HAPPY.

1. "Stardust" - I have just come home from seeing it and oh boy baby - I loved it. Even the non-canonical ending. Loved it.

2. Texting 3 young men at once and arranging to see "Stardust" with one.

3. Pimping Neil Gaiman to one.

4. Exchange is work.
Me: "Legend of Zelda tops Mortal Kombat - everyone knows that."
Philip: "....Yeah that's true."
M: "Nobody tops Link."
P: "I dunno know about that - what about that Sheik guy?"
♥

5. Above exchange followed by young man wanting to dress as Zelda and me to dress as Sheik for Hallowe'en. ♥

6. DUMBLEDORE IS GAY. TOTALLY CALLED IT BITCHES. Love you Jo. Love you.

7. Going to the cinema with friends.

8. Having enough money to buy my ticket for travelling.

9. Doing Dark!Art

10. My friends.

11. My wifey. Happy anniversary waxrose baby. Whether it be 2 or 3 years. ♥ (art coming after work)

12. Doctor/Master slash. And the "Closer" fanvid I found. Win.

13. You lot.

Trufax.

Now I just have to readDeathlyHollowsdon'tkillme and go to bed for I have work in a bunch of hours.

( collage meme thing )

Hello my lovelies~!

I wish I was here with porny arts or something nice but I am here asking of things!

The university networks don't let us have any download programs on our laptops or computers which always equals much sadness with me. HOWEVER we can download from links and from the Sending sites!

SO~~!

♥ ♥ ♥

I was wondering~ if anyone~ would be ni~ce enough to have~

"The Hours" Soundtrack by Philip Glass
or the opening and ending themes from D.Grey Man~??

♥ ♥ ♥

Might actually get some work done on the H/d!D or D/d!H fic if MY MUSIC WOULD WORK. I have no clue why but it'll play music for a while, then the sound will cut out, but the song still play on the laptop. Bastard. I need to hear "Passive" again!

Deep breaths people. Deep breaths.

Also, I slept from 4am to 4PM. WTF WTF WTF?!?! NOT ON~! I didn't mean to sleep that late! I only wanted to sleep until about 11 or so. Bastarding jet lagged body - FUCK!

A note~!
whitehaiku! 'Echoes' arrived the day we left. After we had left, which I knew would happen. Stupid post service. However - I love you! It's mad actually holding your novel. Good mad, though. ^_^

LJ Interests meme results

1. angst:
   Angst! One of the loves of my life! I'm actually thinking now that maybe Angst isn't the right word because it bears the connotations of mild-teenaged madness whenever I think the word I really mean is 'Suffering.' The angst I mean is mainly the angst in fics and stories for that's the best place one can describe Angst - and I have seen wonderful angst/suffering.
   The reason I love angst/suffering so much is there is so much possibility to it - a person can angst/suffer and then realise 'hey I don't have it so bad' or it can affect their entire world view or sometimes, in the most excellent of fictions, it redeems them. That's why I have angst there.
   
2. chrisophe beck:
   Christophe Beck! I absolutely love this man's music - he was the composer for the first 3 series of Buffy before returning for 'The Gift' and writing the insanely melancholic and heartbreaking "Sacrifice" which swells in the middle and almost always make me teary. So - I love his music. Especially "Sacrifice"
3. elves:
   It's the ears people. I don't think I have any more reason except for the ears; Legend of Zelda, Adele Sessler, Lord of the Rings - it's Elf Madness!
4. harry potter yaoi:
   I have come to love Harry Potter (the books I mean). I love boy/boy stuff. What better way than combining two of my hobbies into ONE INTEREST OF MASS DESTRUCTION! I'll admit to having favourite pairings within the HP slash world, but sometimes the best ones I've read have been pairings or characters I've -hated- but the author conveys intimacy and a real bond between the two (or three - haha!) which means that I've found slash can go beyond shoving someone into a wall and angry!hate!sex ensuing - it can mean a relationship beyond the physical. Which is a bullet-proof kink of mine. ^_^
5. legend of zelda:
   My mum bought this for my brother the Christmas it came out and it took us two entire years to complete it. But besides the total all-consuming awesomeness of it (side-quests, time-travel, mad music, excellent characters, huge levels -- AGH FUCKING ZOMBIES JUMPING ON ME) it was also the interest through which I found Zal, then the ZQL, then LJ (in a way) so the Legend of Zelda is the reason I'm here. Ain't we all glad? And I didn't even get to mention Majora's Mask (OMG ALL CONSUMING LOVE!)
6. neil gaiman:
   He's a genius in the truest sense of the word and I love his words with the ideas and references and sense of space in his writing. What more can I say?
7. rurouni kenshin:
   Scarred swordsmen, angst, men in traditional Japanese dress, cherry blossoms, tragic love? EXCELLENCE
8. sirius/remus:
   It's Wolfstar! Man, I could write an essay on why I love this pairing but I don't have the space ^_^;; I'll say what I can; it's boy's growing up together love, it's ambiguious, it's making mistakes and trying to solve them, it's the end of relationships, the hope of something new and, even if they weren't together, it's the knowledge of a relationship that transcends social boundaries, school, loss, time and even death. That's what Wolfstar is. At least to a jet-lagged mind.
9. t.v:
   "Teacher. Mother. Secret Lover." Homer Simpson is the man. He knows. However, I'm not that much of a T.V addict, as these things are judged. Whenever I get into a particular series, then is when my love for T.V. comes out in force.
10. xxxholic:
    A manga I picked up just out of interest whilst I was doing my Art dissertation. Immediately I recognised it was CLAMP and decided to give it a go - just for the sake of it. I was expecting huge eyes, mad costumes and themes of grandness when this is smaller, more personal and straightforward. Watanuki is cursed with spirits and thus the series has a basis in the metaphysical and the spiritual with the Time-Space Witch Yuko willing to grant his wish not to see spirits if he works his debt off. It's funny and touching and crosses over with Tsubasa which is wild fun. I think it's amazing and I can't wait for the next one.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

Also! Have three possible script starts to the Rising Stars of Manga competition and will need your help deciding which one! Check back later for more details.

So, I've been away. Here's sometimes about me that I'm sure most of you reading this don't want to know.

I'm a 16 year-old girl.

I have multiple obsession especially with Lord of the Rings, Cowboy Be-Bop, Sandman, Legend of Zelda and Gundam Wing.

I am a massive yaoi and yuri fan.

I hate bigots and homophobes and people who slam their opinions into your face

I hate my friends arguing because I always get in the middle of it and have to fucking sort everything out

I have a very open mind and know an awful lot of things that most people my age shouldn't

I'm a virgin

I've kissed two boys in my life and those were both 5 years ago

I couldn't care less if you slabber about me or my fashion sense. It's not my fault that I flush bright red.

I hate being labelled either a 'mosher' or a 'goth' or a 'grunger' or 'one of Them'. I've lost friends because of it.

I try not to get upset but when if anyone hurt my friends I would rip their head off.

I'm currently in the middle of doing 9 G.C.S.E's and I can't really focus.

I have a multitude of 70+ characters that I have created myself

I have a fountain of the most AMAZING friends in the world. Most are part of either the group I hang with in school (you know who you are).

The rest are either my sisters or the Zelda Quest List ran by one of the most fantastic, funny people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting; Donielle Mari Mystagic

I've thought about self-harm sometimes but because of seeing what it did to another friend I've never done it. Instead I write.

All thing's considered I have a pretty good life. It could be a hell of a lot worse.

I want to thank my friends who helped me realise I have a good life. Most of these are my buddies on Livejournal and others include: Jenni, Laura, June, Aiofe, Ashley, Eimear, Philip, Fiona, Ms. Herron, 'Becca C and Kayt.

^_^ Thank you for reading. If you reached the end of this, you are a very determined, focused person.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Don't you just *love* getting your hair done? I changed at the end of school in the edge of a corridor and walked down, in my way too big, new, baggy jeans, with Kayt and Libby and Jennifer and Kenny. It was so much fun.

Kenny was keeping telling my how cute Fiona's smile was and how lovely she is and how sexy she is and various other things *Laughs* that aren't writable. He is so funny.

I got my hair straighened again. It so long now! It's nearly down to the small of my back when it's straight. And my purple extensions are still in.

^_^ I am so happy today! When we had P.E, 1st thing in the morning, it was so warm and sunny! June and I played tennis down the courts *cough*famous drinking spot*cough* with Kayt and Jennifer. I was thinking about gonna see Star Wars on Monday so I kept swinging my bat like a lightsaber. It was just so stupid! *laughs* Me and Jennifer ran about the courts in our socks 'cause our feet were killing us in trainers.

So today was good. I'm going up to see my granny in 10 minutes to get her professional Denvir opinion on my hair. ^_^ She'll love it.

Later!
Klena-the-happy-one