i did everything to please
Jul. 8th, 2005 12:21 amI want to tell you I love you all for responding to me. As several people already know, I cried once I saw you were all OK.
My nerves are shot and since I got home 2 hours ago, I've cried about 4 times. Through various trauma stuff and stuff that happened TO our bus on the way home.
But I've had tea. And Blanche, kitten, is sitting in my lap purring like it's all OK. So maybe it is.
We'll cope. Because we have to. And because it's the thing to do. And we do it well.
Love you alls.
My nerves are shot and since I got home 2 hours ago, I've cried about 4 times. Through various trauma stuff and stuff that happened TO our bus on the way home.
But I've had tea. And Blanche, kitten, is sitting in my lap purring like it's all OK. So maybe it is.
We'll cope. Because we have to. And because it's the thing to do. And we do it well.
Love you alls.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-07 11:44 pm (UTC)Hope the bus ride wasn't as traumatic as it sounds. =O_o=
It IS okay! Maybe not all at once, but it's in there. And kittens make EVERYTHING better. =^^=
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Date: 2005-07-07 11:54 pm (UTC)It wasn't. Not that bad. A bunch of hooded guys in Belfast threw a rock or a firework AT the bus. And it hit us. It did nothing for my nerves. Or my temper because I was so angry in case they hurt my mates.
It is ok. Kittens are teh R0XX0RZ
xoxox
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Date: 2005-07-08 12:02 am (UTC)Man, those guys need a good beating. Also, they have no balls if they're gonna go around hooded all the time. Hiding is no way to prove whatever point you're trying to prove. If you are indeed proving one and not just being an ass.
I'm glad everyone is okay. =^^=
I think I have to go back out to the garden now, and do dessert later....=X_x= You should have the dessert instead. =3
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Date: 2005-07-08 12:07 am (UTC)It wasn't even...It was just as we drove past, leaving Belfast. Then again, people have been killed over here by KIDS dropping blocks and shit off bridges so I shouldn't have been surprised.
The only thing is, all this stuff happened to the buses during the Troubles. And then after today and with Marching Season upon us, y'know. My mind is OMFG LIEK WOE.
Everyone is OK. I think.
Do dessert! (look, I must be tired. I left the dirty joke alone!) I think I'll have sleep instead. ♥ ♥
no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 12:29 am (UTC)And you are happy on those hearts. XD ♥
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Date: 2005-07-08 10:54 am (UTC)At least you are coping. which is always good.
Why where they throwing stuff at the bus?
kittens good.
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Date: 2005-07-08 05:20 pm (UTC)I went to sleep! Was dessert good? XD
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Date: 2005-07-08 05:20 pm (UTC)Coping is good.
Gods only know. This stuff happens over here. Tragic, ne?
Kittens ROCK!
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Date: 2005-07-08 07:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-08 09:13 pm (UTC)But just because it can be escaped doesn't mean it should.
Bask in the rejuvenating bliss that is a kitten. Take time to understand their complete acceptance of their situation and their newborn passion to comprehend it all.
That fire always burns in us all, that fire of discovery and vitality.
The more labyrinthine and twisted our minds become, the deeper we must travel to find out heart cave, that place where that fire burns as bright as it always has. Indeed, it gets more intense with every visit.
You are loved, and for every wisp of that love that people feel towards you, there is a brand of the fire that curls in that way inside your heart cave. For each of those kittens, there is a brand that curls in their way.
So let your emotions be what they are, tears bear the intensities of your passions, and they, as everything else that composes the relative entity one calls 'the self', cherished.
Cherished by whom?
I can only speak for myself, and by my natural default, I cherish thems, as your words, as your being, as the pieces of a life. And that's a really amazing complex thing
Love love love.
Date: 2005-07-08 09:48 pm (UTC)And I don't say that just because I'm... drunk. Yes, I am. I'm drunk. Totally. I can't even find the right keys to push. I'm a bit slow. You wouldn't notice 'cause I check everything VERY carefully, but I am. Like, quite drunk. Not dead drunk. Just drunk in a cheerful way. =^^=
Yeah, I had to celebrate the fact that I sold my first oil painting todei! WHEEE! I'm so happy! And then Dad bought me a beer, and then another guy bought me another beer and I'm not used to that 'cause I work so darn much and never get out, and then I get drunk.
I'll just shut up now, 'cause I can feel myself getting more and more ridiculous. *grins*
Hey, enjoy this rare moment of Zal-drunkiness.
I don't think drunkiness is a word. Is it?
Oh gods. I must sleep now.
Huggles!! And everything.
/Zal
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Date: 2005-07-08 10:47 pm (UTC)AH! you just signed on MSN, but I'm going to go eat now! PIZZA! LOVE YOU! Klena, not the pizza. Though I love pizza too.
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Date: 2005-07-09 07:34 pm (UTC)I love Pizza too! But I love me as well. And I love you!
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Date: 2005-07-09 07:35 pm (UTC)Re: Love love love.
Date: 2005-07-09 07:39 pm (UTC)And you utterly woderful fantastic girl! You sold an oil! Huzzah for you! I'll be buying you a drink once you're over here!
You are ridiculous. It's why I love you. ^_^
Sleep the alcohol off! You crazy girl! You'd never catch me doing something like that, ha ha ha ha!
xoxoxox
no subject
Date: 2005-07-09 07:54 pm (UTC)The newborn passion of kittens is amazing.
I know that I am loved, but often I feel chilled because I can't feel the fire within myself. So I feel cold and...undesired. But the kittens are a wonderful source of heat.
I want to let you know that you really make me think, and that the way in which you express your unique way of thinking really gets through to me. I think you are awesome.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-09 09:31 pm (UTC)It is possible. Always possible to retain them. They must simply be nourished, as a growing plant. The flower, or perhaps, the flowering tree of this primal happiness has seeds sown within us all. It is also the fruit from the metaphorical tree of primal love and the happiness it brings that sustains me in the way that I am, that keeps me alive and well.
Not even death can extinguish that passion.
Neither can it be destroyed in life.
It can be embraced, or it can be repressed. Celebrated, or hidden.
I choose to celebrate it, and thus, to perpetuate it.
That source of heat is something that living creatures desire much, it is something I myself have been guilty of wanting.
The warmth of another living being.. Those kind of thoughts actually have been known to drive me to a certain kind of passion *grin*
undesired is a dirty unrtuth, catch my drift?
Your each word proveth that.
If I ever had the opportunity to kindle that fire within you, I would be honoured at the chance.
To inspire thought is one of my greatest joys. And to be true to knowing how to tell it, in the language of the feelings that I feel, which can only be described by the nible tongue and spritely fingers conspiring with the loving brain, that is my heart's song, and I sing it because it is
And you're awesome too =)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-10 01:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 11:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 11:18 pm (UTC)Then I hope for the ability to retain the joy I feel now and to recall on it for strength when I need. I hope to remain youthful in the memory of joy whilst not staying stuck in the past. Is such a thing attainable?
That source of heat is something that living creatures desire much, it is something I myself have been guilty of wanting.
The warmth of another living being.. Those kind of thoughts actually have been known to drive me to a certain kind of passion *grin*
undesired is a dirty unrtuth, catch my drift?
Your each word proveth that.
If I ever had the opportunity to kindle that fire within you, I would be honoured at the chance.
I've never sought passion like the kind you're referring to *grins* but I've sought warmth and passion in friendship. Even if I still feel chilled, at least I know I've sought for warmth. I understand that undesired is an untruth but the body and mind are deceptive. I would be honoured to feel warmed by you.
To inspire thought is one of my greatest joys. And to be true to knowing how to tell it, in the language of the feelings that I feel, which can only be described by the nible tongue and spritely fingers conspiring with the loving brain, that is my heart's song, and I sing it because it is
And you're awesome too =)
Then sing on, piper!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 03:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 08:05 am (UTC)That is what it's there for, I think.
But recalling it in time of stress remains harder than recalling it in time of content. So one needs methods of recall.
Best to find what works well for you, and stick with it.
It is possible. Like anything worthwhile, it isn't easy. But it is possible, and I believe that you're capable of it.
*grins deviously* Lend me a moment to get my mind out of the gutter here..
..
..
..
Alright, then, if I can't get out the gutter, we'll go for rational thoughts from within the gutter..
The funny thing here of course, is that I have never sought out sexual passion. I have often sought the warmth and passion of friendship.
When I finally did experience sexual passion it happened as an aspect of a close friendship. It is still something I can only say I have experienced with friends. To me, the differentiation between friend and lover has always been a slim one.. To me, a lover is.. well.. a really really close friend.. Not necessarily one who I've even been touchy-touchy with.. It's more of a state of mutual mentality that makes people lovers I think.
And I still can't fathom seeking that kind of passion. If I sought it, it wouldn't be the same.. Would it? It isn't something someone chooses anyway, it just happens.
Pshhhyeah.. X)
.. Like anyone could bloody stop me! =D
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 01:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-14 08:30 pm (UTC)"A Red velvet cake is a type of rich and sweet chocolate cake which has a distinctive dark red or red-brown color. Common ingredients include buttermilk, butter, flour, cocoa powder, and often either beets or red food coloring. It is most popular in the American South, though known in other regions. The most typical frosting for a red velvet cake is cream cheese icing."
Peekture!
http://www.ramonscatering.com/images/redvelvetphoto2.gif
Looks neat, eh? Like a...vampire cake.
DUDE. I've been eating that stuff for twenty-six years, and I did not know it was supposed to be a CHOCOLATE cake. I thought it was just, like, white cake with red food colouring. =O.o=
Learn something new every dei. XD
no subject
Date: 2005-07-16 05:51 pm (UTC)26 years and you didn't know it was chocolate cake. You crazy coconut ^_^