Remember me as a time of day

So, introspection, right?

I've been thinking about myself since I started travelling. I had a really rough patch last year with my depression - I was told by someone close to me once I got to Japan that my course had seen just how low I was and thought I wouldn't be able to pull myself back from just how low I was. But I did and he, as well as many others, told me how wonderful it was that I did it. Even Andy, my best friend, had doubted just how I would recover. He told me that many people wouldn't have fought to get out of the situation, the fog, like I did which I did because it was what I was taught to do.

Then I went to Japan, and I developed relationships. I had really serious indepth, horribly adult talks with people about issues I had, problems in our relationships, about my own personal fuck-ups with not communicating and we worked them out. We talked about them and our relationship changed in a good way. Which I had never imagined.

I realised, over the course of the past few months, how important the people I have are to me and just how much I need them and how I've slipped out of touch.

I realised, during my stay in LA, that I love to learn or rather just how much I had loved to learn, that I miss being the intellectual I used to be; reading books, watching movies, discovering new bands to listen to, new fandoms, talking and debating.

I like the person I am at the minute. Granted, I still fuck-up. I make mistakes. I don't ask for help when I know I should but I am cutting down the gulf-times. I am still a mess of problems but I'm working on them.

And I've had some amazing experiences since I've been travelling and I don't want them to go to waste. I want to take these last few months as well as the few in front of me, and have a really fantastic time and grow and change and just my travels as a starting point for the person I'm going to be.

I want you with me as I do this. Yes, you. Even if we've fallen out of contact/never really spoken/have just met/adore each other/don't talk like we used to but still enjoy moments of togetherness.

I want you to help me change. I want you to educate me in the things you know. I want you to tell me the movies you think *everyone* should see, even if you think everyone's already seen them. The books that changed your life - the songs you sing that never fail to cheer you up - the little bit of fandom that you've just discovered that you want to learn more about.

I want you to tell me these things. I want you to tell me about yourself. I want us to become closer again. And I, for my part, will try to also educate. I'll let you know, as I learn, what matters to me, the bands I love, the movies that are amazing, my views and what I think about on idle Tuesdays.

So, let us start moving - let's become close again. Let's talk and enjoy being young and have fun and learn and grow, because we want to.

Thank you