and i have to be careful - you're a bubble in my hands

[klena]

what the fuck is this? Good Friday and now I feel like I'm carrying the guilt of the entirity of Catholic (n)Ireland in my chest?

i just wanted to do my degree - what is wrong with me? fuck i can't do this anymore

don't wanna drop out, can't make myself work. fuck. when did i become such a stupid fuck-up?

having breakfast with my girls today made me realise something too. 4 of us: one engaged, one pregnant, one graduating. what the fuck do i contribute? what the fuck am i doing with my fucking stupid life?

Comments

[marlinkhylacat]

Aw, sweetie, you are experiencing the classic "WTF?!" moment of young adults everywhere. But right now you're in the position to have the greatest control over addressing that! It's much easier before you start living "the adult life" than when you've got ten years in a job you hate and suddenly have that wake-up moment. I don't doubt you'll do something very special to the world.

[karadin.livejournal.com]

You contribute plenty, but you see things are going to change for you soon, and you are not sure where you are going or want to go, and there is nothing wrong with that. While being with someone might be a goal, you never cross the finish line, because you are always working on it, getting a job is a start, but you have to keep going towards a goal, so don't make the mistake of looking on what someone else is doing and think, oh, they've got it right and I have it wrong.

[darthzal.livejournal.com]

Hon, screw the feeling guilty and the need for control and the contributing. You contribute just by being you. And if you're a fuck-up, then I'm a fuck-up too, and then we can be fuck-ups together.

Some young adults seem to feel frustrated and unsure so much more than others do. Personally, I find it hard to work and study just for the sake of working and studying, although I know I probably should.

Bleh.

Also: Pregnant and engaged...? 0.o

[klena.livejournal.com]

I do not like these moments Dei! I was always so confident about my life choices!

I want to do something special for the world. I just wish I knew what.

[klena.livejournal.com]

You are ridiculously wise. Thank you so much ♥

[klena.livejournal.com]

Same applies to you, you know that, don't you honey? I'm totally happy to be a fuck-up with you. Always :)

No, I am exactly the same as you. If an interest in one of our topics seizes me, then I study like there is no tomorrow but otherwise I have to cut myself off from all distractions and lock myself away in one of our libraries.

Yeah, I know. WHAT. WHAT IS THIS???

[marlinkhylacat]

You can and will! Still being in school, you have a lot of resources those of us who've graduated don't have.

For example: What I wish I'd been able to do in my school deis was the simple act of asking myself what I *wanted* to do, and then looking for careers that would allow that, and then picking a study path that would allow me to enter said career. If I'd been able to do all that, I would have studied multimedia, to train as much as possible in visual and writing arts for online and offline media. (We didn't have online student resources in my early uni deis, and the career counselors at school were morons, so I never learned that training like this existed till I was nearly graduated. :( )

You're still fairly early into your school years, and you HAVE many of these resources to help you decide that I didn't--you just have to dig deep into yourself to figure out where you want to go and what you want to do shortly after graduation. What you train for now might not be what you're doing in twenty years, but just having a more immediate goal is such a huge weight off your mind. Baby steps to reach a future you'll love!