klena: (storm in the form of a girl)
Sunday night, sitting on my lonesome. Dave's due back shortly and I'm being frustrated by the streams of "Supernatural" letting me down. I just want to catch up! Technology, what you gotta hate me?

It's been a strange weekend. Both busy and not so. I went out for a delicious meal for Ash's birthday where I foolishly ordered a jug of mango lassi. And drank it. All 8 glasses. To say I waddled to the pub to meet some other friends is a vast understatement. I waddled. In heels. I hope you all feel my pain. But we flaked out early (Dave to go to a mate's house to watch the football and me to go home and lounge around) and once I arrived back, I had this burst of energy. At 11pm. I spent the next 2 hours putting wash loads on, cleaning the kitchen and living room, folding and putting away two other loads of washing and straightening up the bedroom. Sometimes I worry about this whole being an adult thing.

Further proof about this adulting thing? That above paragraph reminded me that I hadn't put our duvet in the tumble dryer. adulthood :O

Drifting into geek territory today: I finished reading "Ouran High School Host Club" today. It feels a bit like the end of an era, I think it's been about 3 years that I've slowly been collecting it. There aren't very many full series I've collected. I think "Chobits" and "xXxholic" are the only other complete ones I own. I liked it, the Hikaru/Tamaki endgame was pretty apparent for a long while. I still loved it though. And the little touch towards the end with Hikaru and her father where he mentions how proud he is of her. There's been a lot of little sections throughout the series where I've teared up. Nothing's quite made me cry like some of the sections in "Fruits Basket" though. And I still haven't finished that either!

Right, I've been half-writing this for two hours. I need to go shower and my clothes ready for work in the morning. Toodles!
klena: (but when the sun shines again)
Man I love weekends. I realise why weekends are so cherised by, y'know, everyone. I can go to bed whenever I want! I can get up whenever I want! (although, Dave woke us up at 8:30 yesterday morning because he is a moron who set an alarm and today he woke us up at 7:30 because of, well, reasons, but I just rolled over and went back to sleep.)

So weekends are ace. I know because work weeks are so busy I should be trying to do everything else I haven't managed to do during the week then but I just don't care! Laziness, bring it to me! Today, I
- put on a clothes wash
- cooked Sunday dinner
- tidied our bedroom a bit
- read some "Avengers" fic
- dicked about on the internet a LOT
- watched "Prometheus"
- watched "Expendables 2"
- painted my nails
- talked to my mum

....and that's it! LAZY DAYS!

Dave bought an iPhone on Thursday so it arrived on Friday, I had a play with it and I bought one on Friday. Ebay - iPhone 3gS 16GB - almost brand new - £100. Considering I spent £70 on my current phone 2 years ago and it's started not holding charge, I feel good about this. And I had been "hmmmm"-ing about it for a good couple of months so I did it! BAM!

The one thing I do query is how to get all my information off my phone to transfer onto the new phone. Technology! Help me internet, you're my only hope.

In other life things, I went out yesterday day time with Dave to an event so I went all out with makeup and a little black dress (coupled with underbust steel-boned corset, suspenders, stockings and heels - naughty!). But wearing nighttime make-up during the daytime is difficult! I did my make-up for going out yesterday and I think it worked pretty well! Here's me at 9pm after putting my make-up on at midday! Not bad, right? And I only had to touch up my lipstick twice?

klena: (before it all becomes the same old song)
So, as Death Cab for Cutie sang, it's the new year. 2012 is upon us which is great because a really good chunk of 2011 seriously sucked dick. There were a lot of questions about almost everything in my life, including my mental health and my coping abilities.

However, I made it through the year. I've got a lot of work to do this year. I need to spend more of it away from Dave. Not because I don't love him, I really do, but I'm always quite close to that "I could strangle you" boundary because I spend something like 80% of my week with him. Yes, really, we live together and work together and spend most of our nights together. Which sometimes is amazing. Othertimes, I just want to be living on my own in a house I've decorated by myself and doing exactly what I do or don't want to do with my evenings.

But that's relationships. Just before my birthday (and hey, yeah, I'm totally 25 now - first quarter of a century over me! I will accept all rounds of applause) I redrafted my CV and applied for a bunch of jobs. My aim is to have one before January is over, although I know how hard things are in this climate.

But I am getting ahead of myself! This is my first post of 2012 just to let everyone know that I made it out alive as apparently every Twitter crossposting service I used over the course of the year have just died. And none of my Tweets were shipping over so anyone who hasn't/doesn't follow me on Twitter probably thinks this is an abandoned journal. It's not, I promise! Also, our internet and phoneline went down the day after I got home so I was an entire 10 days without any of the internet. Oh the internet, it's strange how I both did and did not miss you!

I will recap Christmas and all that jazz tomorrow, I think, as I have photos and stuff to put up including just thoughts I want to get out but for now, I just want to say this:

I hope you had an amazing festive season, with loved ones or having adventures or having a quiet family affair. You all still mean so much to me, even though I am so absent, but you are all still always in my thoughts. I love you. Let's make this year glorious ♥
klena: (girl anachronism)
We, as in Sheaf house, have had our internet and phone cut off. This sounds awful - AND IT IS - but since we technically haven't been paying for internet this past 8 months, I feel like a shitty person complaining. Free internet and phone! It's raised a fuckton of issues for us regarding getting/renewing our contract (stupid 12 month contract bollocks) but maybe it's a blessing in disguise considering this is the beginning of my last 2 weeks of classes plus my self-assigned Essay Weeks.

True fact though: I was a little upset at the thought that I might not reach the end of the month without posting again, especially with my Twitter account. I want a full month of updates! How sad is that?

However, the issue now is that I live in the library for these few weeks and the library has the internet. I've just checked Facebook, Twitter and Livejournal. It's taken me 1hr 22 minutes and I have a fuckton of tabs open. faaaaaiiiiilllll.

Although my target for my essay writing today is 666 words. I feel this is totally manageable! The issue is just getting started!

I was going to start at 11 but now I'm realising that I've been awake 2 1/2 hours and have only had water. I think it'd make sense to go grab some breakfast/lunch before trying to write. Otherwise I might just fall asleep at the keyboard.

Which would be bad!

I also wish to let people know that it was my 1 year (non)anniversary with Dave yesterday and we went out for dinner. Except I dolled myself up and wore some nice shoes but walked to meet him. I have 5 plasters on my feet now due to skin being rubbed raw. Sexy. Although it did provoke comedy value on the way home as I paced along in my bare feet after dinner because my plasters kept being rubbed off by the shoes. It also lead to impromptu piggybacks ♥

I also found out a little more about Us during dinner. I assumed I was just a booty call for him, and was surprisingly okay with that! Sort of. But he felt the same. After I left that first Sunday, he said he had no clue what was going on. He thought it might have just been a booty call for me too, but he also thought it wasn't just sex. Which was awesome to hear! It made me smile :)

It is also making me procastinate. Lazy Nirish! I am going to buy my brunch and then eat it and then write until 4 and then go to my lecture and then write some more. Plan? Plan.
klena: (she cried out 'so the story fits')
It's started.

Frustrated as fuck being home. My tongue is heavy with insults, my shoulders are tense with strain, my skin is itching with frustration.

This is not my home anymore. I knew this within a week of being home over the summer. I was only home for 11 days at Christmas but I felt it then too. That period was easier to cope with because there was Christmas and my birthday and people to see and gifts to be bought.

Being home now is like being forced back into a cage or into an outfit, shoes that you disgarded years ago because it wasn't you anymore, it didn't fit right, the shoes made your feet bleed.

I have no job here anymore, therefore the McDonalds crew barely remember my existence. My Jules is halfway around the world and she allowed me to breathe a bit easier because we both come back for the same reasons. I have few people here I have any desire to go out and see. I was never really attached to home when I was here, I had no circle or chains.

Dave is busy and we've not been much in contact but what could I say? I feel like crying down the phone with my frustration. This place isn't my life anymore. I love my family, I have to remember that, but they drive me mad. And they are my only contact here. (I do count Libby and June and Jenni as points of contact). Dave admitted he wouldn't spend 2 weeks at home. And maybe this is the last time I'll do this.

Next week will surely be better. There is the CAPAA scheme on for 3 days of the week, which will lead to more social contact and keeping my head busy. Then I have dad's birthday on the 12th and then Leeds on the 14th. But that's 14 days away from now. 14 days feels like it will drive me out of my skin screaming. It could be that I'm oversensitive and prickly because of the time of month.

Maybe I'll ask Dave to ring me tonight, a touchstone. But he shouldn't have to deal with my crazy. I've only been away 4 days.

Fuck.

This mood also brought to you by the news that if I want my lovely Creative Zen to work again, I have to fork out £231 because it's out of warranty but it wasn't when it broke. fucking idiot.
klena: (surely Heaven waits for you)
I feel like a bad person for it but I am dying to download "The Fame Monster". Oh Lady Gaga, why must you make such catchy tunes that earworm me and then be so amazingly dedicated to being so fucking wierd? Such a girlcrush on that lady.

I am in the wastelands of Nireland once more! I'm worried because this trip will be the longest I've been home since summer and then I was working two jobs so the summer went stupidly quick (as far as I can remember, I think I've blocked most the trauma out. \o/? )

Part of me also feels a little bad that I didn't find it as hard to say goodbye to Dave as I did at Christmas or during the summer. Is that wrong? Maybe it's a good sign? I don't know. Emotionally fail, right here.

Luckily my grand plans for being here do not consist of very much more than catching up on my reading from uni ('sup Shakespeare and Milton and Nietzsche) and writing up notes and maybe, just maybe, starting on my two 4000 word essays for Milton and Stories of the Eye.

Side note: Bataille's "Stories of the Eye" was strange and slightly disappointing and horrifying. It's stuck with me.

Part of me also wants to get my creative ass into gear and:
- finalise the Doldrums design
- write some more Lucasta
- get involved in new ZQL postings
- start work proper on Leeds Animesoc Zombie Manga
Whether this happens remains to be seen.

16 days at home. Today is day 2 and my little brother's birthday. He's 22. I'll be 24 in December. This amazes me in multiple different ways. Mama Denvir will be returning to Leeds with me on the 14th. And meeting Dave.

My Creative Vision W Zen player that came travelling with me still does not work but I swore I was going to be able to fix it because I had firmware software to repair it with. Except the computer doesn't even recognise it. Sadface is sad :(((((

I am now going to go and create a list of Things Wot To Ackomplish.
klena: (like the blade you stain)
This is a grumpy!kat entry, wherein I am certain I am going to feel sorry for myself.

Before all that though. In case you hadn't heard, Saints won the Super Bowl WHO DAT. Taylor, a mate from animesoc, streamed the whole thing from his laptop to his TV and drank over the course of the night. It ended about 5am here. Uni on Monday was a particularly unpleasant experience from what he tells me. Poor lad. I didn't watch the game but my thoughts were there, especially considering the joy it's caused [livejournal.com profile] blondiusmaximus

whiny whine mope feeling sorry for self nonsense )

To conclude: gripe, whinge, grumble, sour face.

Although, [livejournal.com profile] hartclanpaladin, I got your lovely letter yesterday. the teabag has not been employed yet, but it will be. Thank you so much ♥

Anyone else want to get in on the grumbles? Or the hug times. Because I am all about the hugs? Hugs?
klena: (listening to our apocalypse suite)
So, it's the beginning of December. I've been in Leeds for 93 days which seems like a stupidly short time when it's reduced to days. The State of the Union post is delayed once again because about 3 weeks ago my laptop shut itself off. It wasn't the first time it had done this but instead of coming back on when I tried about an hour later it has refused to show any signs of life.

I'm currently using my housemate's old laptop (love hannah ;_;) but it doesn't recognise my external harddrive when it's plugged in nor does it have the majority of my bookmarks saved to it. In other words, I'm making excuses for not being around.

Another reason for not being around yet again is due to final year. I'm not so much being raped by my degree as constantly being told "AGAINST THE WALL NOW" at multiple points over the last 10 or so weeks.

I'm doing okay though. I've just been going back over my few lj entries from the last year or so and realising just how things have changed for me.

. I'm with someone - granted, not officially but we are a couple regardless of titles. Sometimes we are practically in each others brains but we're doing okay for 7 months. It's the longest one man has been in my life. It's not easy - we both have talked about how it's not easy for us; he owns his own business and this is my final year of university but we do our best to make it work. And, in his own words about a month ago, he "wouldn't change a second of the last 6 months". He's been so good for me. Yes, it sucks having to fight to spend time with him but even if I head to his when he's working, I have nothing to do but work so I've been working far harder than I have done every other year I've been here at university.
. I'm off medications. Did I ever tell anyone that? I came off my medication sometime before Easter, as far as I can remember, because I wanted to try depression on my own terms and learn how to cope with myself when I am sad. And I've had a few patches. I was a ball of horrible venomous rage over the summer because I was working myself to death and I had a 'bad week' about two weeks ago where I had no desire to work, to eat, to get out of bed and I was just sad all the time. It's still lingering but I'm working hard to not let it cripple me.
. I'm actually working on my degree. Besides doing my core work, I'm reading beyond my module. I'm trying to make my brain better
. I don't have a job anymore. I quit Fab in April and got with Dave my last day. It's funny to say that because I was working last night to cover for everyone else but it's made life a little tougher regarding budgeting and in another way it's made things easier because I'm not stressing about working and losing my weekend because of late shifts.
. I'm not being creative. This is a minus for me but I haven't been overly creative in probably months. Tons of ideas for art bouncing around my head and the desire to flesh out characters and be more involved in online RPs but that's hard to do when you fight to spend time with someone and be a good housemate and not fail your degree.
. The end of that last point pretty much sums up my life actually. Being a housemate, being a partner, being a student.

Things aren't so bad. I'm still very hard on myself. I hate myself sometimes and god, I get so lonely other times and I feel like nobody cares about me. I need affection and to be reminded that people care about me except I can never ask for such things. And it's stupid and immature and a failing of mine. But maybe one day I'll be beyond it.

I was toying with the idea of New Years Letters. Would anyone be interested?
klena: (bitchy lesbians)
Tattoo photos! Because I promised [livejournal.com profile] blondiusmaximus i'd totally put them up once i got it done and i know what I'm like with promises like that.

The secret added bonus to this is that I went on my photobucket for the first time in months (since my old external harddrive crashed, oh Helena I miss thee!!) and found out that I wasn't as much of a complete n00b (or Nub as animesoc have taken to reterming it) and uploaded my photos from the September The Academy Is... gig in full resolution. YES. I would triumphantly fist-pump the air but that would involve movement. So I will emoticon my joy instead: \o\ \o/ /o/ \o/ \o\ \o/ /o/

It does not seem i uploaded any of my travel photos in such resolution though. Fail.

Anyways! As I am uploading them now to photobucket, and cooing over William Beckett (seriously, boy, YOUR FACE and your VOICE and your hot hot band!) and also apparently going onto facebook and finding a workmate's photos (fuck, she is so pretty! in one of her profile photos she looks like Alicia Way, how is that fair? I want to be that pretty!) I was actually going to be really cruel and just ramble tons about stupid stuff but I decided not to. I feel it is a better idea just to let the photos speak for themselves.

Also, I am cross-posting them to my other journal, my theoretical art-and-fic journal [livejournal.com profile] icarusishappy so apologies if you see this more than once. But I am well proud of myself for getting this done so you can deal with it :D

Small thumbnail OF MY THIGH 12 HOURS AGO

Photobucket

here thar be needles and ink and tattoooooooosss )

FINALLY - THE BEST ONE I HAVE SO FAR OF THE FINISHED PIECE

klena: (lost the light in everyone's eyes)

Oh how can it be, sweet mama tell me why
why all love's discipline's have to wither and die

Possibly the most pogniant, fucking awful and awesome song to hear just after finishing reading the next installment of the Unholy Verse by [livejournal.com profile] bexless: Staring Through The Demons. Anyone who spoke to me after I read the last one (I Have Been All Things Unholy) will know how much I flailed over it and was just ridiculously in love with it. So, due to my fucking wank week so far (little breakdowns that are more than just little and feeling lost and not wanting to speak/be/breathe) I've been reading it on and off.

However tonight I managed to sit down and read the last half of the fic (seriously, half of it) and I don't actually believe I've ever sobbed at a fic like that. Granted I had needed to sit and break and weep properly for a while but I was sitting, tears actually dripping onto my hands as I read the last quarter of the fic. And stopped at the end of it and just sobbed. Full on, head aching, chest hurting sobs.

I probably read sort of normally right now but I feel like I'm living in a state of emotional shock (thanks Julian) - a living dead doll. I'm not really here or there, i'm just....existing is not even a word for it at the minute. don't have the strength to sleep, to laugh, to work and dress up and study. it makes me feel like a doll with strings cut. Like Mikey at the end.

Something wouldn't leave my head yesterday

It's almost on the same level as a Shakespearean comedy: tales of love and fond deception except that those players can take their masks off - we can't because we are living it. There are no deus ex machinas for us, no chaotic last acts because that is not the way this great stage works. Standing to the side and painting-carving-pouring a facade onto your mask but it's too thin - too translucent to your own face so there is a sad truth to your face and no longer the easy smile. How sad that is.

klena: (DRAMA)
!!!!

HELENA'S* NOT WORKING! SHE JUST MAKES UNHAPPY WHIRRING NOISES WHEN THE LAPTOP LOADS UP.

MY WRITINGS! MY MUSIC!! MY PORN!!!

ohgodwhydoyouhateme?



* 'Helena' is the name i gave my little external harddrive
klena: (oh god my heart)
OH MY GOD "DOOMSDAY"

;_;

(shuttup yes i have only just watched it)

P.S I BROKE THE HOOVER TODAY /o\
klena: (Default)
Dad's taking the computer harddrive up to school tomorrow to see if he can get one of the technicians to fix it. Why does it need fixed?

1) The internet is supposed to have wireless broadband. It is fucking up on basic webpages.
2) The USB ports are FUCKED. Like, the metal bits in the port? Are bent.
3) Matt snapped the jack of headphones in the computer and we can't get it out and we can't listen to music
4) It's tempermental with the microphone.

6 MONTHS GUYS. I WAS ONLY GONE 6 MONTHS AND I COME BACK TO THIS. WHAT.

Also, my external harddrive is still baffling me because I don't want it to sync up to this computer and download all the information - i just want to transfer the music i have on this computer across. But i have no clue how to do this. And there were no instructions with it. And Helena encrypts everything on her so i am completely fucking confused.

PLUS MY ZEN STILL DOES NOT WORK. [livejournal.com profile] baiacu please, please god have sent my charger in case i do need to bring it back to the shop. BUT THAT WOULD MAKE ME SAD BECAUSE THEN I WILL HAVE LOST ALL THE MUSIC I GOT FROM EVERYONE ONLINE. I.e the Arashi, Tilly and the Wall, the Go! Team, the Jude, 12 Girls Bands, music I got from [livejournal.com profile] hybrid_xisha and [livejournal.com profile] isthatjamie and [livejournal.com profile] waxrose and [livejournal.com profile] whitehaiku. SAD FACE - CAN WE SEE THAT??

Technology fucking hates me >(

So! Could possibly be offline for a few days. Don't break the internet whilst I'm gone! I will return with art. I swear. Beat me if I don't. That includes your piece, [livejournal.com profile] mcee! And then I will respond to all my comments. Before I start work again on Tuesday. JOY

[edit] ....AND SOME FUCKER HAS DELETED ALL MY FAVOURITES. I AM GOING TO KILL THIS FAMILY SOMETIMES.
klena: (promise me you'll never go away)
So! In honour of my last post - I have acquired an AOL name. I am Icarusishappy. Add me! Love me! Chat about all fandoms, bandoms, strange goings on and everything inbetween will be allowed!



P.S OH ASH ♥
klena: (Default)
(Realplayer, please stop playing "Is This Love?" everytime one song finishes. You are supposed to be on shuffle. And there is, like, 7 gigs of music in this folder. Sort it out)


So! The beautiful [livejournal.com profile] littleredfox has just reminded me of something I was going to ask AS SOON AS I GOT HOME but completely forgot. Because, y'know there was death and emo.

How do you keep in contact with each other? Because I'd love to be chatting to you lot a lot more - especially all the new bandom people! Hi! - and I've only got Skype and MSN at the minute. What do you recommend? What's your screenname? Would you like to chat to me? All these burning questions and MORE to be answered!
klena: (I went up in flames)
Fuck you internet. Fuck you scanner. Fuck you computer. Fuck fucking you. I have slept 7 hours in the last 3 days, I have a migraine that could CRIPPLE SMALL CHILDREN and all i want to do is upload the PHOTO of my DH entry up because you decide to fucking FUCK UP scanner and go to bed and try not to throw up all over myself. And you are preventing me from doing this. Fuck you technology.
klena: (Default)
FINE INTERNET. IT IS NOT LIKE I AM IN A SHITTY MOOD AND HAVE BEEN FOR DAYS NOW AND JUST WANTED TO READ SOME FIC BEFORE I WENT TO BED. NO, OF COURSE NOT. WHY ELSE WOULD I BE ON THE INTERNET AT 3AM WHEN I AM GOING OUT AT 9AM TOMORROW.

Fuck you too.

Stay with me folks. There could be rambling. [edit] there was.

I am in foul fucking form again. I completely and utterly suspect myself of my depression coming back in full force and just booting me in the metaphorical balls right now. I have felt wretched since I came home and have no one to talk to properly. Andy keep ringing me from Japan, bless him, but I can't even get it out to him because I don't want to burden him with the whining and the being miserable and the fact that today I woke up and thought I was going to crawl out of my own skin if I didn't either a) stop being myself and being in my own mind or b) go out and scream or dance or fight or fuck. And neither of those options are really me so of course I didn't and i feel worse for it.

My parents, of course, have noticed how not-myself and down I am again (because it is pretty obvious really, i am no master of subtlety) and I just want to lock myself away in my room and paint and draw and write and sing and create until I'm nothing more than a conduit and free from my own mind for a few hours. And of course I can't because I have no energy, no desire and the guilt guilt guilt that just buzzes in my fucking cells and stops me doing fucking anything productive. Not cleaning my room, not writing my journal, not scanning art, not writing letters, nothing. fuck. FUCK.

I don't want to be this way again but the look people get in their eyes (it's like sadness) when I mention maybe it wasn't a good idea taking myself off the medication early, not even 6 months into it and their voices that go all careful but, like, disappointed too. What am I supposed to do? People have their own lives - I don't want a babysitter nor do I need one but I'm not strong enough to live life at the minute. I'm not 'myself' enough to go back to work and kill kill kill myself serving people in McDonalds but I am broke and need the money to do things that I want to do, like go and sort Leeds out, go out for people's birthdays, see people.

What am I supposed to do? I'm doing something that should, in theory, make me happier tomorrow. I've gained weight since being away and have been told/ordered not to lose the weight because "i got so thin last year" but i was the weight i'm supposed to be i was happy that way, it felt good. And it's not a lot I want to lose, just enough to fit into a pair of jeans that i own without feeling fat or unhappy with the rolls over the top of the denim because, of course, i lost the weight and bought low-slung jeans because i like them. So i'm not happy with the way I look but i'm going to get my ears pierced again and get my hair done - when in doubt, stick a few needles into yourself and chop your hair, right?

ARGH I just want to be myself and to be in routine and have people talk to me because they are honestly happy to see me. I haven't really heard from anyone since i've been home and that's not anyone's fault. They've got lives, i know that and i respect that. I don't have an issue with that. I have an issue with feeling like a disposable friend - i sit and wait around like a marionette for someone to show interest, pick me off the shelf and pull my strings.

Then Uncle Stan rang on Saturday night (or was it Monday?) and I heard half the conversation whilst Matt and I cleaned the kitchen around mum. Stan was Eileen's wife - the one who died. And I hadn't cried. But I listened to mum talk to him and be practical and console him in her way "grieve and part of you will always grieve but remember what a woman she was and she's not in pain anymore" and they rang off. "He said 'my eileen, my eileen's gone'" she said to me and we worried (in the way we frowned and pinched our lips together) that he'll drown his sorrows in a bottle like he does and I just grabbed mum and hugged her and cried because she was Eileen and she's so much like my mum and oh god, my mum, when she dies, what am I going to do? I can't cope when Eileen - who I met only a few times and stayed with - dies, what am I supposed to do? And I cried and wanted to be a kid again and not have to think or cope with that. But i do have to and i have to get over it but i don't know how.

fuck. and it doesn't help that i am 99% certain that I have pulled muscles in my stomach climbing out of a chair tonight. fucking awesome. good times life. good times
klena: (dead as dead can be the doctor tells me)
Dear new little external hard-drive TENTATIVELY named 'Helena'

why do you hate me? I just want to plug you in, put all my music on you and then delete the music on my laptop so my laptop does not die. But you do not want these things for me! I put my music on you, you say it is there but you lie! or if it is it must be encrypted because iTunes can't find it.

help me out here. we are stuck together and i want a long and happy relationship for us. i also do not want to resort to smashing you against things. i think this will make us both sad.

love (honestly)

me

*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear LJ

40 icons for a paid account. now this SEEMS like a good amount, honestly, but i am having trouble because I want to put up lots of shiny!icons of band boys. but i also do not want to delete my current icons. do you see the dilemma i am in? it is tragic - do you not agree? work with me here

sort-of-'help-a-girl-out-here'-love

me
klena: (Default)
Bleugh. Still sick. Mrs. Palmer, June, Ashley and Joeleen have ordered me not to be in school tomorrow. The shower of bastards. ^_~

Wyna, my email server sent my email back for some reason. *kicks* Everything's good to go. Hurrah for Aceilux!

Must be winter. My circulation is going again in my hands.

Had odd dreams about the formal. Also had a really disturbing one about my teeth crumbling in my mouth which was really yeck.

Switched on T.V. last night. Friends was on. Sat reading until I heard this English voice. Looked up and there was Gary Oldman . Mmmmmn. I love him. Mmmmmmmmm

Quote of the day 1:
"Is that MY arse?" *Snickers*

Haha. Going to Belfast on Sunday with Michael and the girls and Connor(If I can find his bloody number)

In an odd mood today. Dying to write stuff so I have some ZQL stuff in my head to write and a S/R fic based on Aqualung.

Oh, I FINALLY bought Aqualung's "Strange And Beautiful" album. Everyone who reads this needs to look into Aqualung. He sounds sorta like I imagine Julian to. Steph, you wanted music to listen to. Guy + piano + etheral music = Aqualung.

Need to send packages away. (Plus secret things, mwahahaha.)

Going to bed though. Need sleep or something. *_* Much love pets.
klena: (Default)
Dear Computer,

Thank you for FINALLY allowing me into my Hotmail, you bastard.

Love Kathryn.

I've added [livejournal.com profile] _digitalangel because she created the Sirius/Remus CD and thus must be worshipped. I personally, think "Stolen Car" by Beth Orton is quite S/R but then again, I'm me <--- I have no problems fitting things around my obsessions, haha!

Colour me crazy but I've decided to continue all 4 subjects on to A-Level, at least until Halloween. Then I'll make a decision. O.o

Back to school on Wednesday. Both 'Yay! ^_^' and '-_- ...balls'

Jenni and several others think I should go into lecturing or teaching after my teaching "King Lear" to the class the day of the exam. I think Jenni and said others to be crazy but.

Julian is Jesus!

Donal, the Marauders picture is coming on well. And virtually no dirtyness. Except for !leatherjacket Sirius with his arm 'round Remus ^_^

This entire entry is rather random.

Wyna and Steph and Falasama and Donielle and Joey......Can I use your art in my art dissertation? Joey, I've already emailed you but I promise to email you over the weekend to explain and plead nicer. ^_^ Hahaha.

I'm such a geeq

OMFG Kill Bill RULES! The soundtrack RULES! (But Vol. 1 beats 2's ass.)

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