klena: (a virgin losing a child)
"You cut up a thing that’s alive and beautiful to find out how it’s alive and why it’s beautiful, and before you know it, it’s neither of those things, and you’re standing there with blood on your face and tears in your sight and only the terrible ache of guilt to show for it."
—Clive Barker
klena: (told you i'd be here forever)
Moment of reflection.

I started this journal 27th May 2002.

By the 27th May 2010, this journal will be 8 years old. I will be 23. I will be finished my degree and awaiting results.

There is a part of me that really believes that Lucasta is a sort of Lady Shallot character. I'm not sure whether to run with that or not.
klena: (can't help glancing back)
should really be asleep by now. miles to go before tomorrow ends (work included). spent today with the beautiful [livejournal.com profile] rogue_dreams and the rest of the NaNo crew until midnight, writing a pretty much new NaNo due to the last one being on non-working!Helena at the moment.

keep thinking about art: Lucasta and charlie's nano and bubble twins and panic demons and demolition lovers and kids of the umbrella academy and half-formed fanarts. plus my tattoo.

i read the sleeve notes to "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" and besides making my heart clench (Ryan Ross, i adore you. never change) i realised i was mishearing a lot of the lines. damn. how is it i can understand GeeWay perfectly but Bden Urie and PStumph, it does not happen with?

song lyrics you love. quotes you adore. sayings you love. things you associate with me. help a girl out please

also: any music you can pimp out to me would be ♥

thanks for the memories - he tastes like you only sweeter
klena: (looks like rain but not gonna cry)
The post as best reconstructed. :( FUCK YOU LJ I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASLEEP LIKE 2 HOURS AGO

And he tells me to sing and I sing and I sing, Aiba/Jun (incomplete-mini-drabble that will probably never be finished. Also - is crap.) )

lyrics that inspire me vaguely!...Also the lyrics to  )

I blame [livejournal.com profile] waxrose for this as I do many other things and I sorta stole her plot bunny and made it awful but referenced something she wrote 'cause her's is awesome and then LOST IT and rewrote what came back and I'm sooorrrrryyyyyyy :(

So many things to say with a broken heart and a straight face, Nino/Jun/Sho )
klena: (how I survive)
Alright people. I need to draw something for this or else I can assure you part of me will combust.

So throw prompts - characters - pairings at me!

Please!

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold gound
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms
klena: (KH)
I was so ready to do another huge big fandom post because, I just got this thought. Don't ask where it came from. I was just innocently typing a response comment to Joe and this idea hits me. In retrospect I think my typing the words 'that which never was' made the link to 'The World That Never Was'. But ANYWAYS, even thought Kingdom Hearts 2 isn't even out here, I just got this idea of the Waltzers...well, I guess more the Ripples as the Nobodies. I am totally blaming [livejournal.com profile] campfuckudie for having awesome Marluxia, Axel, Roxas, Sora and Larxene players because I am fangirling KH2 liek woah.

BUT THE POINT WAS...actually it was sorta lost in the above rambling paragraph. Waltzers as Nobodies.

Just me thinking that then? Yes?

OK then.
klena: (Default)
I've lost my words again. Which is a good thing because then I would forget my purpose for writing this entry. It's, once again, for the Rising Stars of Manga competition. And I'm looking for answers:

1. What do you imagine the apolcalypse to be like? Or is there some book or manga or movie that has laid it out like you thought?

2. Does anyone have any images of Gabriel from Constantine? (the movie, not the graphic novel)

3. The group of kids experiencing the apocalypse - uniform or non?

4. I was thinking of a mixed group of around 7 or 8 people (bear in mind, some will die). Is that too much?

5. I need names! For anything like streets or the people or teachers or the school. Anything would be appreciated and worked in some way (that goes for all suggestions too!)

That's about it. I'm tired, even though I got up at 2 today. However, the stomach bug is clearly up. Slightly.

Doesn't matter really.

OK. When you see this, paste some Shakespeare in your journal
No, no, no, no! Come, let's away to prison;
We two alone will sing like birds i'th'cage:
When thou dost ask me blessing, I'll kneel down,
And ask of thee forgiveness: so we'll live,
And pray, and sing, and tell old tales, and laugh
At gilded butterflies and hear poor rogues
Talk of court news; and we'll talk with them too,
Who loses and who wins; who's in, who's out:
And take upon's the mystery of things,
As if we were God's spies: and we'll wear out
In a wall'd prison, packs and sects of great ones
That ebb and flow by the moon.
King Lear, Lear speaking, Act V, Scene III

And I've seen the poetry meme twice, so two poems.

(tragic one first)
Mid-term Break - Seamus Heaney )

And now, a love poem. In a way. [livejournal.com profile] trowicia, this is practically Wolfstar!

The Reassurance - Thom Gunn )
klena: (Default)
I promise, I will update properly with all the fun stuff from Bristol and will report back to you who read this.

But not now. Because now my neck hurts and my fingers are cold and I'm cold from practising all day and being in music for most of the day. Holy bollocks, sez I.

I whinge something shocking, don't I?

Em...I have two Politics exams on Monday and a poetry exam on Tuesday. I should be killing myself with revision but, ha ha, I'm not. As you may be able to tell.

However last night I did manage to write a 7 page essay comparing Oedipus and Death of a Salesman and some of it just flowed out of me. It's amazing sometimes, the way the world changes when I write. But it only happens occasionally.

In other news, back when I was doing my art exam and my Orpheus tale, I thought about the story and how many different tales and twists it could take. Ideas were everywhere and so, a plotline - a mini-manga - has been forming in my head.
With Orpheus' family.
The gods.
Myths and legends - Echo, Psyche and Eros, Hades, Persephone and the like.
A Death unlike the one of Sandman.

So I may do it. I'm working out the kinks (haha, the real ones too!)

Bargaining.

Hmm. I am becoming abstract. Time for food~!!

[Edit] Also I heard 'A Lark Ascending' for the first time today. I almost cried. Jesus.
klena: (Default)
Composition and research essay - 7 days BITCH!
(Burn CD, go, do it now!)

Donielle, Zal-sis - you both fucking rock my worlds. In the multiple. And even the echoes. I owe you!


*Wails* I wanna write Potter stuff but instead I'm settling for bizarre Harry/Draco pictures. I have a VERY odd imagination, hahahahah


OMG Spiritual Vacuums! And Danny advertises for them! HaHAHAHAHAH, I love him.


To die is to forget you ever lived. To die is to forget you loved, or suffered, or got and lost things you wanted. Tomorrow, you say to yourself, I won't remember anything, won't remember this face, this knee, this old scar, or the hand that wrote all this.
- André Aciman, 'Lavender'

<<<----- DUDE, the fucking PLOT BUNNY's are practically oozing from this. OOOOOOZZZING I SAY!

[Edit] And anyone thinking/praying to deities and/or higher spiritual beings, offer up a thought for my little bro. He's got his German Oral GCSE exam tomorrow *bites nails for him*
klena: (Default)
I have fallen in love with the Athlete song "Wires" and the video as the guy gives me a Remus vibe. Even though the song just makes me generally inspired. Such as with illustrations for Several Things That I Have Needed (And Wanted) To Do For Several Months But Have Had No Time. Which is very nice indeed.

There has been absolutely nothing out of me for the past month or so because I've not been particulary active on the net for a while now. My life, since I went back to school on the 5th, has been taken over by my 4 A-Levels and my school life in general.

I'm actually amazed at how much independent learning is required. Is really crazy.

All my deadlines are beginning to come in such as my Art exam in just over a month, therefore giving me roughly 3 weeks to do all my experimental work and my music is needing to be done and I have coursework to hand in, in roughly 2 weeks and I have flute lessons and I've done a Politics module and...

Roughly put: My life is crazy at the minute. So I apologise for not being there at the minute and being supportive etc etc for people. Hopefully by mid-Feb my life should be calmer...It would really need to be.

So. Back to work...at 9:15 at night...
klena: (Default)
I have just had my heart ripped out and held before me. Why have I never heard this song before?!

You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
You got tears, making tracks,
I got tears, that are scared of the fact

Running down corridors through,
automatic doors
Got to get to you
Got to see this through
I seen hope is here
In a plastic box
I've seen christmas lights, reflect in your eyes

You got wires, going in
You got wires, coming out of your skin
There’s dry blood, on your wrist
Your dry blood, On my fingertip

Running down corridors through,
automatic doors
got to get to you
got see this through

First night of your life
Curled up on your own
Looking at me now
You would never know

I see it in your eyes
I see it in your eyes
You’ll be alright

I see it in your eyes
I see it in your eyes
You’ll be alright

Alright…..

Running down corridors through,
automatic doors
Got to get to you
Got to see this through
I see hope is here
In a plastic box
I've seen Christmas lights reflect in your eyes

Running down corridors through,
automatic doors
Got to get to you
Got to see this through
First night of your life
Curled up on your own
Looking at you now
You would never know
klena: (Default)
I did a Politics module today on the Government of the USA and consumed three times my own body weight in sugary-chocolatey-caffine crap. So I'm all sorts of hyper. Moo ha ha ha ha.

So, now that I have a bit of time, I'm going to do a fandom thing I've wanted to do for a while. Here be mentions of Auf Der Maur, Keane, Snow Patrol and Damien Rice. Want to read on?

The Lord of the Rings - Sam/Frodo
Auf Der Maur - "Followed The Waves"
It is the song that, as soon as I hear her cries at the start, instantly Sam and Frodo pop into my head. Once I'd listened to the lyrics, it was stuck me how much it related to them. The first obvious thing was the reference to the sea and following the waves to a lover; "I followed the waves to you" etc.
But once I'd sat and listened for a while, the whole song began to click together.
"My heart burns wildly in his eyes" was the line that stuck with me after Elijodo sent away Sam in the movie, especially during the ending cf "Return of the King" and then there's the play on words in the chorus with the word 'lie' - that idea of a distant heart and a lying heart really makes me shiver, especially as Frodo loses his, I dunno how to phrase it properly, his sanity? His bonds to others? His humanity? It's the 'lie'. But it's still the chorus that sticks with me as Sam/Frodo:
I followed the ways to you,
I cannot see it through...
My heart lies to you.
You'll never have me true.


Harry Potter - Sirius/Remus
Obviously there's a whole shower of songs but the ones that I see as S/R are "We Might As Well Be Strangers" and "Bedshaped" by Keane as well as "I Remember" by Damien Rice.
Keane - "We Might As Well Be Strangers"
This is just tragic. I don't even need to say that much about it, just that Tom's voice is so cool, like wind, and so soft that when he reaches the higher ranges during the chorus, it just makes my heart seize in my chest and beat painfully. (I love it when music does that to me) Also the lack of guitars that Keane use makes the music different. Piano has also been an amazing object to me but in the music it takes a back seat, with the drums, to Tom Chaplin's voice which I utterly adore. To me, this is either pre or post Azkaban and I fight off plot bunny's everytime I listen to it. It's despair and acceptance and the end of something that was beautiful but now there's just two strangers who are beginning to accept.
It's tragedy (I don't understand your heart; it's easier to be apart ) it's...I don't even need to write that much. Just look at the lyrics.
I don't know your face no more
Or feel your touch that I adore
I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for
We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a different world
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space
I don't understand your heart
It's easier to be apart

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in a another time
We might as well
We might as well
We might as well be strangers
Be strangers
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know of you now
For all I know,


Keane - "Bedshaped"
This song I dismissed the first time I saw the video. I caught a glimpse of the start - an ugly little troll creature in clay animation - and just changed the channel until, after weeks of ignoring the video, I watched it. It actually made me cry; I admit it. "Bedshaped" has a tendency to do that to me. There's this quality to the piano and the drum beat on the edge of the bass that soars and lifts the music before there's a subtle change in key under his voice that's desperate and truthful and anxious and nervous and full of longing -"Don't laugh at me. Don't look away..."
It's Remus for me - especially Order of the Phoenix - he's being destroyed and then we have That Which Did Not Happen Regarding A Gay Godfather. I love my tragedy. 's probably why I'm such a good English student, ha ha. But if you don't have this or have never listened to it, I will send it to you, just say to me. Hell, any of these songs I've mentioned, request and receive!
But back on topic. This tears my heart out but I always feel better after it fades away. Behold the chorus -
You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!


Damien Rice - "I Remember"
It's Remus singing through Lisa Hannigan. Then good-ol'-Damo is Sirius. It's true. And there's this split in the music that I've never heard done. Well, done well. The female sings, under simple acoustic guitar, of her memories and the effect this lover has upon her from the first moment they met and the longing and love that she has. The accompaniment for her part is so simple and so effective and arhh...
I remember it well
The first time that I saw
Your head 'round the door
'Cause mine stopped working.
I died when I heard that. And then there's the almost-but-not-chorus of
I want you here tonight,
want you here tonight
because I can't believe what I found...
Want you here tonight,
want you here...
Nothing is taking me down...
...................Except you, my love.

As if that wasn't enough, then it all changes - music etc - for Damien. Music a bit more frantic and with more passionate and his voice I 'guh' over.
This is love, this is porn.
God will forgive but I,
I whip myself with scorn...
Insert lush, Irish-ish, deep strings. I love.

And I wanna hear...
What you have to say about me!
Hear if you're gonna live without me
What you want?
I remember December.

Let's face it. Damien Rice is love.

Snow Patrol
Just listen to them. In general. Ciaran put my onto the song "A Clock Is Ticking" which, as he said correctly, is very Radiohead-esq and is just damn good. There is, of course, "Spitting Games" and the fabulous, the infamous "Run", as well as the almost religious, simplistic "Same" but my favourite is "Ways and Means". Bizarre, relucant relationship and lust and all means of wierd stuff - hurray! The song's just creepy and unsettles me and has this seductive musical rhythm that just reminds me of really sexy, hip-swaying dancers. The song is dirty-lustful and far too addictive for one song's own good. The chorus (I think song's sell me on the chorus)
Getting too busy to make amends
I should try to make it right
Are you ready for the shit to hit?
I think you say you are but aren't
Doctor make it better instantly...
You're the only one that can.
I been waited here my whole damn life.
And I've forgotten what I wanted...

Maybe I can do it,
If I put my back into it
I can leave you if I wanted,
But there's nowhere else that I can go.

Maybe I won't suffer
If I find a way to love her
I'd be lying to myself,
But there is no way out that I can see.

If I lied you'd know it instantly
So I just had to look away.
All the honesty I've ever lost...
I can't begin to even curse.
I never knew the taste of blood till now;
It's clear I never should have known
Breathing fire was never this much fun...
So there's a dark side in us all

Maybe I can do it,
If I put my back into it
I can leave you if I wanted,
But there's nowhere else that I can go.

Maybe I won't suffer
If I find a way to love her
I'd be lying to myself,
But there is no way out that I can see.

And that's my excessively long song rant. For today at least ^_^
klena: (Default)
I've been getting panicky the last few days as my exam results are out tomorrow. I have come close to having another panic attack which definately does NOT = ratings.

On the plus side I'm full of nervous energy which means I've been drawing a lot. So far I've:
- complete the "Where In The Worlds" group picture and inked it
- done a gift art for Wyna
- covered pages with "Echoes Of Thunder" stuff
- drawn and inked two comic pages
- drawn Harry Potter stuff (my dad is much amused) and
- drawn lots of my own stuff

So that's that. Um...wish me luck?
klena: (Default)
I'm sitting here on my computer with a dull headache and cold fingers and puffy eyes. Why, I hear some distant interested voice cry? Well I'll tell you.

Firstly, the headache is from going out last night to the pre-formal and being stuck in a tiny room and with alcohol. I didn't get drunk. Not even tipsy. But just had fun. Music was really loud.
I:
made up with Kayt
made a peaceable gesture to Sinead
learnt a HELL of a lot of things from various people
got a kiss from 'Moana' (Oonagh)
had almost every girl mate of mine sitting on my lap for part of the night
had =Fun=
and
got a kiss from Brendan.
It was all good. Maybe later on I'll talk about it more.

My fingers are like ice sculptures of fingers because I have fantastically interheited my mother's bad circulation and it has now completely tackled me and said "Kathryn! Let's have your fingers be frozen even when you try to play flute!"

My eyes are puffy 'cause I just watched the last 4 DVDS of "The Vision of Escaflowne." I knew what the ending was going to be. I knew it was coming, just like I did with Lord of the Rings and I still sobbed.
^_^ Thank God "The Real Folk Blues" wasn't on tonight or I would've been inconsolable.

And I'm on Chapter 37 of "Echoes of Thunder." Ruu! I am =so= close to being finished! Mwahaha. And my friends have now become fascinated with my descriptions of "Echoes of Thunder." You're taking over Shimna!
OH!!! I had a point! Just before Judas kidnaps Julian, you called Sallas a panther right? From what I know panther's are just pure black but leopards have spots. Same family, different colouring. Maybe I'm wrong though.
Was the unnamed Ruu Avatar Seffryn?!

Haha! Jessica's become a Jude fan through me! Haha!

I have Escaflowne sheet music, ha ha!

Kel-chan I love you babes!

Donielle I should have an estimate on my flute soon!

I am currently having fun by writing down the history of the Completely Insane Hunters to try and save poor Zal's mind when she next posts (nudges) Turns out they are a lot more interesting that I originally thought.

Kathryn and Angel manga-strips = ratings!

Now serious-ness-ness (cerios-ness? ^_^) I've been thinking the past few days about impressions of people. What impressions people get from just meeting or talking to someone...
What are your impressions of me?
What do you think I'm like?
What do you think I look like?
Is there something about me that says "what a nut-case!" (That final point came to me last night after giving Kayt's friend Kevin a kiss on the cheek after he remarked indignantly on how he didn't get a hug.)

That's all for now. I'm going to read "Echoes", write more CIH and draw romantic Kathryn/Angel manga strips.
klena: (Default)
It's been a hectic week and next week seems to be heading the same way. There's a lot of coursework and crap to be handed in and exams to be done....Gundammit it blow goats!

I bought a sexy LotR tops. One's blue velvet, the other's rusty goldeny-browny velvet. I need to send you pictures.

Donielle, do I have your permission to use Deionaera/Kiletti in my art? And the scar on her face is blue, right? And how much roughly for my flute?

The rest of this is pretty much Ruu-centric.

My art teacher loves your work. ^_^

And also, if it's not too much bother, I need some info on you and background stuff. Just random stuff for me to fill about a page or so with. Is that OK?

Also since I began singing "King of Yesterday" about 10 people have been coming up to me and asking me about "that really cool song." ^_-

I will respond on Echoes of Thunder's stuff soon. Only about 100 pages left.

That's all folks except for this quote from Jennifer

"You're a KITTY-FIDDLER!!!!"
klena: (Default)
If you want a song that'll tear the heart clean out of you, one of those tragical, angsty male voices backed by the band and an entire string section, do I have the song for you!

It's by Bush and it's called "Letting The Cables Sleep". I donate the lyrics. That is all


You in the dark
You in the pain
You on the run
Living a hell
Living your ghost
Living your end
Never seem to get in the place that I belong
Don't wanna lose the time
Lose the time to come

Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way

You in the sea
On a decline
Breaking the waves
Watching the lights go down
Letting the cables sleep

Whatever you say it's alright
Whatever you do it's all good
Whatever you say it's alright
Silence is not the way
We need to talk about it
If heaven is on the way
We'll wrap the world around it
If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way

I'm a stranger in this town
I'm a stranger in this town

If heaven is on the way
If heaven is on the way
I'm a stranger in this town
I'm a stranger in this town

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